Feather Falling
by Twilidramon
Summary: Feathertail is reborn into the body Featherpaw, a young apprentice of WindClan, so that she might help Crowfeather see the error of his ways. But when Crowfeather doesn't seem to think or act like he's done anything wrong, it's up to Featherpaw to make him see the truth - at the cost of everything, and everyone, she holds dear. Rated K for minor violence.
1. Allegiances

**So I'm sure all of you have been wondering why I haven't updated, well, anything.**

**This is why. This is a short story I've been working on for some time, and as of yesterday I have it written to completion - which means I can post this while buffering my other stories, so hell yeah! I have a lot of short story ideas, so hopefully you'll be seeing them soon.  
**

**This story, as the summary states, is an AU (of course, anything taking place after _The Last Hope_ is technically an AU) about Feathertail reincarnating herself into a living cat so that she can see what Crowfeather's been up to!**

**Warning - if you like Crowfeather and think he's faultless, bad news: I wouldn't recommend reading this. The fact of the matter is that Crowfeather is _not_ utterly faultless. He is not the only cat to blame, but it is mostly his fault that Breezepelt left, Nightcloud hated him, and he destroyed Leafpool's, well, everything. I've tried to make it seem as unbiased as possible but, let's face it, that is impossible. We all have our opinions and if yours is that Crowfeather is as glorified and perfect as the Erins think he is then this story is not for you.**

**_***You have been warned, and any reviews containing hate will be ignored.***_**

**So don't be calling me a weak coward because I'm ignoring your trollish hate. You've literally been warned that I will be ignoring you and I won't be giving this warning again.**

**-ahem-**

**Anyway, as this is literally the first story I've ever written to completion before posting, and as it is intended to be a _short_ story (14 chapters, max; including this one, the prologue, and the epilogue) there are time-skips, and plenty of them. No time skip is further than two moons (I think the most is a moon and a half?) and all happenings between the skips are detailed in-story. Gatherings have been omitted, as this story's conflict does not deal with the other Clans. I will admit that there are some characters and relationships I wish I had explored further (-cough- Woollypaw and Applepaw and Featherpaw -cough-) but since this story has a drill's head focus on just a few characters I regret that I had to dim them down to keep it short.**

**I also wish I had focused on my headcanon's for WindClan's hunting and fighting techniques but I have the Celestial Trilogy (Celestial Eclipse, Ascendance, and its finale) and The Dark Chronicles (Dark Fever and its sequels) for that.**

**This story is character-based, not action-based, and the only chapter with an action sequence is sudden, short, and to-the-point. Just a head's-up.**

**Now, on with the show!**

* * *

**ALLEGIANCES**

* * *

**WINDCLAN**

Leader: Onestar – brown tabby tom (Whitetail's mate)

Deputy: Ashfoot – gray she-cat

Medicine Cat: Kestrelflight – mottled gray tom _(Woollypaw)_

Warriors:

Whitetail – small white she-cat (mother of Heathertail, Kestrelflight, Owlwhisker, Rabbitpaw, Peatpaw, and Frostpaw)

Gorsetail – very pale gray-and-white tom with blue eyes (Sunstrike's mate)

Nightcloud – black she-cat _(Applepaw)_

Crowfeather – dark gray tom _(Featherpaw)_

Weaselfur – ginger tom with white paws (Sedgewhisker's mate)

Harespring – brown-and-white tom

Leaftail – dark tabby tom with amber eyes (Swallowtail's mate)

Emberfoot – gray tom with two dark paws (Heathertail's mate)

Heathertail – light brown tabby she-cat with blue eyes (mother of Featherpaw and Woollypaw)

Owlwhisker – light brown tabby tom

Swallowtail – dark gray she-cat (mother of Applepaw)

Whiskernose – light brown tom _(Rabbitpaw)_

Furzepelt – gray-and-white she-cat _(Peatpaw)_

Boulderfur – dark gray tabby tom _(Frostpaw)_

Apprentices:

Woollypaw – brown-and-white tabby tom with long, soft fur; medicine cat apprentice

Applepaw – mottled brown tabby tom with amber eyes

Rabbitpaw – light brown tabby tom

Peatpaw – brown-and-white she-cat

Frostpaw – pure white tom

Featherpaw – silver tabby she-cat with long, soft fur and blue eyes

Queens:

Sedgewhisker – light brown tabby she-cat (mother of Weaselfur's kits – Dapplekit, Poppykit, and Russetkit)

Sunstrike – tortoiseshell she-cat with a large white mark on her forehead (expecting Gorsetail's kits)

Elders:

Webfoot – dark gray tabby tom

* * *

**THUNDERCLAN**

Leader: Bramblestar – dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes

Deputy: Squirrelflight – dark ginger she-cat

Medicine Cat: Leafpool – light brown tabby she-cat with white chest and paws _(Jayfeather)_

Warriors:

Brackenfur – golden brown tabby tom

Cloudtail – long-haired white tom with blue eyes _(Stormpaw)_

Brightheart – white she-cat with ginger patches

Spiderleg – long-limbed black tom

Lionblaze – golden tabby tom with amber eyes _(Amberpaw)_

Cinderheart – gray tabby she-cat

Ivypool – silver-and-white tabby she-cat _(Snowpaw)_

Apprentices:

Jayfeather – gray tabby tom with blind blue eyes; medicine cat "apprentice"

Queens:

Dovewing – pale gray she-cat with blue eyes (mother of three kits)

Daisy – long-haired cream she-cat (mother of two kits)

Elders:

Graystripe – long-haired gray tom

Dustpelt – dark brown tabby tom

Sandstorm – pale ginger she-cat

Purdy – old tabby loner

* * *

**RIVERCLAN**

Leader: Mistystar – gray she-cat with blue eyes

Deputy: Reedwhisker – black tom

Medicine Cat: Mothwing – dappled golden she-cat _(Willowshine)_

Warriors:

Graymist – pale gray tabby she-cat _(Lichenpaw)_

Icewing – white she-cat with blue eyes

Mallownose – light brown tabby tom

Grasspelt – light brown tom _(Curlpaw)_

Hollowflight – dark brown tabby tom _(Podpaw)_

Apprentices:

Willowshine – gray tabby she-cat; medicine cat apprentice

Queens:

Minnowtail –dark gray she-cat (expecting)

Mossyfoot – brown-and-white she-cat (mother of two)

Elders:

Pouncetail – ginger-and-white tom

Dapplenose – mottled gray she-cat

* * *

**SHADOWCLAN**

Leader: Rowanstar – ginger tom

Deputy: Tawnypelt – tortoiseshell she-cat with green eyes

Medicine Cat: Littlecloud – very small tabby tom _(Mistpaw)_

Warriors:

Smokefoot – black tom

Toadfoot – dark brown tom

Olivenose – tortoiseshell she-cat

Tigerheart – dark brown tabby tom _(Sparrowpaw)_

Dawnpelt – cream-furred she-cat _(Dewpaw)_

Apprentices:

Mistpaw – pale gray she-cat; medicine cat apprentice

Queens:

Applefur – mottled brown she-cat (mother of three)

Snowbird – pure white she-cat (mother of one)

Elders:

Oakfur – small brown tom

Ratscar – brown tom with a long scar down his back


	2. Prologue

**And here's the Prologue, as always.**

* * *

**Prologue**

_Stars shone brightly in the sky,_ twinkling and sparkling with an undying glow. They bathed the clearing in a silver light, touching each blade of grass and reflecting against the surrounding mists like a prism.

"You wish to go back," a voice said. "Why?"

A she-cat sat in the middle of the clearing, starshine making her silver pelt glow.

"I want to make something right," she said.

"You cannot make right something that has already gone wrong," the voice told her.

"I want to try."

"A promise to _try_ isn't enough," the voice told her. "We sent Cinderpelt back for a reason – to live again, to live the life she never had the chance to live. You were cut off in your youth, yes; but you were satisfied with your life until then. There is no reason to send you back."

The silver she-cat closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and mewed, "I am needed."

"Are you needed, or do you _think_ you're needed?"

"I _know_ I am needed," she responded. "I cannot sit idly by and watch as someone I care for spirals into… into something I know he is not!"

"He is already beyond reasoning."

"No one is beyond reasoning."

"And how do you propose to change him?" the voice asked, hard and demanding. "You propose to go down and force him to -"

"I will not force him to do anything!" she spat.

"Then how -"

"Enough of this arguing!" The voice was cut off by another voice. "Wind, you don't mean to defend that foolish warrior's behavior, do you?"

"I…"

Wind was cut off. "I say we send her," said the second voice. "If any cat is capable of reasoning with him, it's this one."

"I wasn't trying to _defend_ my foolish kin," Wind insisted, her voice sharp. "I was merely trying to figure out _how_ she was going to pull this off. She's a RiverClan cat! She doesn't belong amongst my Clan."

"She doesn't, no," agreed another voice, "but with the new litter she can. Cinderpelt was not in control the whole time she was within Cinderheart – this will be no different."

"Yes," agreed a fourth voice. "Put her in the background; influencing things from the shadows. She will not – and cannot – control the ultimate actions of her host, but she can influence them to do the right thing."

"All I want is to make things right again," the silver she-cat insisted. "Please; give me this one chance!"

"Well, Wind?" asked the second voice. "We must all be in agreement."

Wind was silent for what seemed like the longest time.

Then, she said, "Fine."

The silver she-cat let out a gasp of shock and gratitude.

"I won't disappoint you – I swear!" she vowed.

"You had better not," Wind snapped. "You only get one chance, Feathertail – if you cannot make Crowfeather see the error of his ways in time, then you get no other chance."

"O-Of course!" Feathertail mewed. "I understand."

"Know this," Wind growled, "it will not be easy. You will have to influence your host to not only help Crowfeather – which will involve giving up things that your host wants - but make the greatest sacrifice of all."

* * *

"Just one more, Heathertail," urged Kestrelflight in the dark. "You can do this."

_What did I do,_ Heathertail thought, pain rippling through her body, _to deserve this?_

Emberfoot's eyes gleamed in the dark.

_Oh, right,_ Heathertail recalled. _For the good of the Clan._

Another powerful spasm powered through the light tabby's body. It would have been the most painful thing she had experienced – physically, anyway – if she had not already gone through it a moment earlier for her son, who was drying off near Emberfoot's paws and already wailing for milk.

_Soon,_ Heathertail thought, looking at him.

She could feel the last, powerful push – her body wanted her last kit _out_, and wanted it out _now._ She braced herself as best she could, claws digging into the feathers and heather and tasting bark as she bit deep into the stick between her teeth.

With a grunt of pain and an oddly satisfying sensation of loss, it was all over.

"Well done!" Kestrelflight told her.

Heathertail lifted her head – weak as she felt – to see that between his paws was another kit. Kestrelflight licked it until the kit opened its mouth and wailed.

An overwhelming sense of love flooded Heathertail, blotting out the pain as her two kits wiggled blindly to her belly. She felt a slight pinch as they both latched, huddled close to one another for warmth. Though it hurt, Heathertail wound herself around her kits, a hind paw placed against their rumps to keep them from straying.

"Here; eat these," Kestrelflight mewed.

Fragrant herb-scent flooded Heathertail's senses. Borage was the most prominent – to help her milk. She had been taking it for a half-moon, she knew how to deal with its taste. She lapped up the other herbs just as easily, swallowing them with the knowledge that they were a benefit not only for her but for her kits.

"They're beautiful," Emberfoot breathed. Heathertail could sense he hadn't expected to be blown away by them, either. "A she-kit and a tom. What do you want to name them?"

Heathertail looked tiredly down at her kits. Both of them were already thick-furred, their pelts already longer than most kits'. The tom's fur was colored like Heathertail's, brown with tabby stripes. The she-kit was a light gray, nearly silver, with darker tabby stripes. Their paws each held a little bit of white, thanks to the white tips of Heathertail's own toes and the whiteness of Heathertail's mother, Whitetail.

"Woollykit for the tom," Heathertail decided. "His pelt is fluffy, like a sheep's."

Emberfoot nodded in agreement. Kestrelflight backed up to allow the new father some room as Emberfoot leaned down and breathed in his son's scent.

"And the she-kit?" he asked.

Heathertail looked at Emberfoot, silently wondering if he wanted to name her.

Emberfoot shook his head: Heathertail could name her, too.

Heathertail nosed her daughter's pelt. It was soft, like the feathers she was resting on.

"Featherkit," Heathertail mewed. "Featherkit is perfect for her."

Kestrelflight's eyes flashed in the gloom of the WindClan nursery. "Very well," he said. "I'll tell Onestar. Get some rest, Heathertail, and call if you need me."

Heathertail nodded to show that she heard. She leaned back into her nest, feeling her kits suckle and nurse with their tiny paws kneading her belly for more. Emberfoot was there, looking at his kits with pride. With love.

She closed her eyes and thought, _For the good of the Clan…_


	3. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"_Featherpaw, Featherpaw, Featherpaw!"_

Her new name echoed through her ears, rippling through her long, soft pelt and tingling at her toes.

Featherpaw! She was an apprentice!

WindClan jostled around her, looking excitedly at Onestar as the brown tabby continued with the ceremony.

"Crowfeather," he called. "You were mentor to Heathertail, and Heathertail is Featherpaw's mother. I can think of no better cat to mentor Featherpaw than you."

Crowfeather? Featherpaw hadn't been expecting that.

"I'll do my best," Crowfeather meowed.

Featherpaw jumped at the sound of his voice – her dark-pelted mentor had come up from behind and was standing beside her. His blue eyes were far away, though he was looking directly at Onestar. When he turned his head to touch noses with Featherpaw, he didn't seem pleased.

They touched noses, but Featherpaw felt no emotion in the gesture. The Clan, however, didn't seem to notice Crowfeather's attitude – they cheered and cheered, calling her name. Heathertail's voice was loud, and though they weren't mates anymore Emberfoot was calling his daughter's name, too.

Onestar raised his tail for silence, and he got it.

Crowfeather nudged Featherpaw, and she followed her mentor back into the crowd. She passed her brother, Woollypaw, one the way. He hadn't yet been given his mentor, but Featherpaw knew he was praying for it to be Kestrelflight.

Ever since he could understand what it was that their uncle Kestrelflight did, Woollypaw had wanted to be part of it. Featherpaw had seen how his eyes sparkled when he talked about his adventures with Kestrelflight – going to pick herbs near camp, pulling a thorn out of Leaftail's paw, patting cobwebs on uncle Owlwhisker's nose…

Woollypaw was a medicine cat at heart.

Featherpaw was not.

She was happy for her brother, and she cheered his name loudly when Onestar announced that Kestrelflight would be mentor to Woollypaw. Their uncle was more than happy to accept his nephew as his apprentice.

Featherpaw pranced through the crowd and nuzzled her brother, purring. Woollypaw was too happy to speak.

Onestar raised his tail for silence again.

"As you all know," he called, "leaf-fall is upon us, and leaf-bare is not far behind. This means less prey for us. We must fortify while we can – hunt lightly in the moors. These lean times will be hard, but we are WindClan – with the strength of our warriors and our faith in StarClan and the warrior code, we can make it through."

The Clan cheered for Onestar, and his speech.

"Come on," Crowfeather's gruff voice growled. It cut through the din of the clamoring crowd. "Let's go see the territory."

Featherpaw looked at Woollypaw, hopeful. She turned back to Crowfeather and asked, "Can Woollypaw come?"

"He's a medicine cat now," Crowfeather replied flatly. "He has medicine cat responsibilities. You two can't train together like normal apprentices."

"N-Never?"

Crowfeather blinked. "No, not _never,_" he said. "You two can train together occasionally – just not right now. I want to show you the territory – you're a warrior apprentice now; you need to know the borders you'll be protecting. Woollypaw is a medicine cat. Borders don't matter so much for them."

Featherpaw looked back to Woollypaw. Her brother smoothed the fluffy fur on his chest and then mewed, "It's OK, Featherpaw – I'll see you tonight. We can talk about our training together."

She touched her nose to her brother's ear. "I can't wait," she mewed.

"Have fun!" Woollypaw insisted.

"You, too!" Featherpaw returned.

Crowfeather had his back turned to his apprentice. "Come on," he said, gruffly. "We've got a lot to see, and the sun sets earlier now."

Featherpaw looked around. Now that the ceremony was ending, cats were breaking up. Nightcloud was talking with her apprentice, Applepaw – he was the eldest apprentice, and Featherpaw had learned a lot about WindClan hunting from him. Maybe he knew some things about the territory?

"Can Applepaw and Nightcloud come?" asked Featherpaw, hopeful. Maybe some company would lighten her mentor's mood.

Crowfeather glanced at them. His and Nightcloud's eyes met for a moment, and in that moment Nightcloud's eyes burned with the fury of the sun. Crowfeather's neck fur fluffed up as Nightcloud turned away, urging Applepaw to go with her as they headed out of camp.

"That's a no," Crowfeather grunted, glowering at his apprentice. "Now _come on."_

Featherpaw sighed.

* * *

Grass waved in the breeze as Featherpaw and Crowfeather padded up and down the rolling hills of WindClan's moorland territory. They were heading for what Crowfeather said was the ThunderClan border – they had just reached the woodland and Featherpaw's legs were burning.

She had only been outside of camp once, when Kestrelflight took her and Woollypaw, overseen by their father Emberfoot, out to help him gather heather blossoms. Woollypaw had enjoyed it, picking each one exactly as Kestrelflight instructed, but Featherpaw had more or less been bored with the outing, longing to see more of the moors.

Now she could see it all – the great, rolling hills sweeping their territory. Heather and gorse patched the ground, and the open sky was welcoming and blue. She felt wild and free; free to roam where she pleased without punishment – always seeing where she was going, always feeling the sun on her back.

But, as she entered the woods on the ThunderClan side of their territory, Featherpaw began to feel like the world was closing in on her. Her back began to cool as the leaf-fall sun was blocked by the orange, red, and yellow-green leaves clinging to the trees. Forest smells flooded her mouth – dirt and bark and bracken, smells she had never scented before.

She followed Crowfeather, sticking close to him as he wound his way through the trees, taking a paw-worn track through the forest.

A bird called suddenly, and Featherpaw jumped.

"You'll get used to it," Crowfeather told her dismissively.

Featherpaw sighed and kept up the pace.

They reached a stream that spanned about three cat-lengths. The water was smooth and so clear that Featherpaw could see the bottom when she bent to take a drink. When she raised her head, refreshed, she scented the air. Smells of musky mice and bird hit her tongue, along with a spray of foresty smells.

"ThunderClan?" she asked.

Crowfeather nodded. He gestured to the stream with his tail, "This stream is the border between our Clans. The stream goes to the lake -" he pointed with his nose "- down that way."

Pointing upstream with his tail, he added, "It curves into WindClan territory up there, and then heads into the Moonpool. You've heard of the Moonpool, right?"

Featherpaw nodded. "Woollypaw says that Kestrelflight goes there every half-moon," she mewed.

"You'd be right," Crowfeather mewed. "Every medicine cat goes there at the half-moon. They get signs from StarClan – but that's not our area. We're warriors – we only need to worry about StarClan when we face them when we die."

Featherpaw blinked at him, finding the way he spoke to be grating. Was he always so emotionless about _everything?_

_Maybe we don't know each other well enough,_ Featherpaw thought. _All mentors and apprentices get along eventually…_

"Will we see a ThunderClan patrol?" Featherpaw asked.

"I hope not," Crowfeather growled, his shoulder fur bristling a bit. "Come on, let's get to the lake. I want you to at least see RiverClan territory before we head back."

Featherpaw took another lap of the stream water before she headed off to follow her mentor, who had begun walking away without waiting for her. Something about his gait told Featherpaw he didn't want to be here longer than he had to, and Featherpaw sighed.

_We're not enemies with ThunderClan,_ Featherpaw thought. _Not that I know of, anyway… maybe he's just cautious?_

* * *

"How was your trip?" asked Woollypaw.

Featherpaw looked up from cleaning her paws. She had slipped and fallen into a puddle of swampwater near the RiverClan border, drenching her paws. Crowfeather's reaction was to continue on and let her paws dry naturally – but her thick fur was so saturated that most parts of her paws were still wet.

Woollypaw blinked in sympathy when she told him. "Sorry," he mewed.

"How was your day?" Featherpaw asked. "What did you see?"

"The inside of the herb store," Woollypaw admitted. "We didn't get to go outside at all today; I've been learning herbs all day."

"Sounds boring," commented Applepaw. He was sharing tongues with Frostpaw, one of Whitetail's last litter and Featherpaw's and Woollypaw's kin. Frostpaw didn't seem to care for the conversation, his ears turned away and eyes unfocused as Applepaw licked a hard-to-reach spot near the base of his denmate's tail.

"It was not!" Woollypaw insisted, fur bristling.

Applepaw's ear twitched. "I didn't mean it as an insult," he said.

A call from across the clearing got Woollypaw's attention before he could reply to Applepaw.

"Kestrelflight must be done with my nest," Woollypaw mewed. He glanced back at Featherpaw and said, "I'm doing some outdoors stuff tomorrow – maybe you can tag along?"

"I'll see," Featherpaw mewed, "but Crowfeather has a burr stuck somewhere."

"Maybe he'll be in a better mood tomorrow?" Woollypaw suggested.

"I doubt that," Applepaw scoffed. Frostpaw moved into the den, driven into the former badger set by the nip in the air. Featherpaw glanced at Applepaw, curious.

Woollypaw licked her ear and mewed, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Featherpaw murmured a good-night, and then looked more intensely at Applepaw. "So is Crowfeather grumpy _all_ the time?" she asked.

Applepaw shrugged and replied, "I guess so. I know he and Nightcloud don't get along."

Featherpaw sighed and kept licking her damp fur.

"Need help?" he asked.

Featherpaw nodded.

Applepaw settled near her and began grooming her paws, roughing up the fur to help it dry. The two talked until the moon rose high in the sky – about things other than Crowfeather or Nightcloud. Hunting, fighting, training, other Clans… they talked until Silverpelt shone bright on their fur and their tired, achy limbs tingled.

Finally, a light rain forced them to retreat into the set. With moonlight dancing off of the raindrops outside, Featherpaw made up a nest in the dark, surprisingly warm set. When it was to her liking, Featherpaw circled her nest and settled down, wrapping her tail over her nose.

With a quick good-night to Applepaw, she closed her eyes on her first day as a WindClan apprentice.


	4. Chapter 2

**I am a busy person and even though this story is completed it would be rather boring if it posted it all at once.**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

_Featherpaw stalked into camp, bristling. She_ sat down in front of the apprentice's den and dug her claws into the peaty earth as Crowfeather padded into camp. Their eyes met, but Crowfeather snapped his head away, his blue eyes burning.

A moon she had put up with his attitude, and Featherpaw was finding it hard to take it anymore! He was just so… so…

"You OK?" Applepaw asked.

Featherpaw glanced at her denmate. She realized that she must look like an ashen porcupine with her fur fluffed up so. She made sure to flatten it when Applepaw sat down next to her.

"Crowfeather?" Applepaw asked.

Featherpaw nodded. "He's been nothing but a burr in my tail for a moon!" she complained. "I swear, it's not me – I'm doing everything right!"

Applepaw flicked his tail. "What happened this time?" he asked.

"We were having some battle training," Featherpaw told him. "I was having trouble with a move, and eventually he just told me that I would never get it right and that I ought to give up! He didn't even try to listen when I asked if he could at least help me a little!"

"So, you argued," Applepaw told her.

"Yes!"

"You can ask if Onestar will give you a different mentor, if you two aren't getting along," Applepaw pointed out.

Featherpaw flattened her ears. "I don't want to do that," she told him. "It's Crowfeather, not me… and me asking for another mentor might make me look like I don't like him. It's not that I don't like him – he's just…"

"Irritating?"

"Yes!" Featherpaw agreed. "He won't listen to _anything_ I have to say, and he doesn't think my opinions matter! He never seems focused, and he has never looked happy for… ever."

Applepaw blinked. "It seems to me like you really need to ask Onestar for a different mentor," he stated. "You two clash way too much."

Featherpaw shook her head. "I can't do that, Applepaw – I told you, I don't want to," she said. Though Applepaw's words were making sense, there was a part of her that didn't want to switch. Crowfeather was her mentor, and she didn't want to make it seem like she disapproved of Onestar's initial choice.

"You can't get along with every cat, Featherpaw," Applepaw told her. "But if you want help in handling Crowfeather, you should ask Nightcloud."

"Nightcloud?" Featherpaw repeated. She knew that her mentor and Applepaw's had been mates, and that their son had betrayed WindClan and fled – and she knew that Nightcloud and Crowfeather didn't like one another much. But what help could Nightcloud give?

"When I went on my first patrol with Crowfeather, he was just as irritating and abstinent," Applepaw explained. "When I told Nightcloud how disrespectful he was to me, she told me how to deal with him. I'm sure she could help you – you need help dealing with him more than I do, seeing as how he's your mentor."

"Do… do you really think she would?" Featherpaw wondered. She could use all the help she could get.

Applepaw nodded, pointing with his head to where Nightcloud was sitting across the camp. The black she-cat was alone, picking at a starling between her paws.

"She's right over there," Applepaw told Featherpaw. "Why don't you find out?"

Featherpaw stood up and padded over to Nightcloud, wondering what might happen if some cat tried stopping her – if Crowfeather tried stopping her. She did her best to keep the nerves out of her walk, and she reached the older she-cat without incident.

Nightcloud had finished her starling and was washing her flank. Without looking up at Featherpaw, Nightcloud asked, "What is it?"

Featherpaw swallowed. She mewed, "It's Crowfeather."

Nightcloud paused in her grooming. The black she-cat raised her head to look at Featherpaw with clear amber eyes.

"And what might you want with him?" Nightcloud asked. "He's your mentor – if you have a question for him, I'm the wrong cat to see."

Featherpaw shook her head. "It's… It's not a question for him, it's about him," she managed.

Nightcloud blinked, as if she were confused.

Featherpaw took a deep breath and did her best to speak clearly when she explained her intent to Nightcloud. She didn't want to jumble her words any more to the senior warrior and make herself look like more of a fool. When she was done, she looked expectantly at Nightcloud.

"You want me to help you deal with Crowfeather?" Nightcloud asked, wanting clarification.

Featherpaw nodded.

Nightcloud was silent. She gave her flank one or two more thoughtful laps before she lifted her head up again and said, "You'll be hunting with me tomorrow."

Featherpaw blinked in shock. "R-Really?" she breathed. "You'll… help?"

"Calm down," Nightcloud meowed. "If you get your fur in a bunch about this, then Crowfeather certainly won't be happy. Now go back to your den and rest up for tomorrow – you and I are going hunting together. It's no different than going hunting with any other warrior."

Featherpaw blinked her gratitude. She couldn't help but feel like a kit, thinking of the best way to sneak a thorn into her brother's nest. She longed to express her gratitude in another way, but Nightcloud had clearly dismissed her, so Featherpaw turned around and headed back towards Applepaw.

She settled down, unable to keep her fur unfluffed.

"So she agreed to help?" Applepaw guessed.

Featherpaw nodded. "We're hunting tomorrow," she said.

Applepaw gave her a friendly nudge. "You'd better get some sleep then," he said. "Nightcloud likes hunting early."

* * *

And get up early she did.

It was before dawn when Featherpaw was woken up by Nightcloud's paw on her shoulder. Blearily she wondered how Applepaw could stand hunting so early in the morning, when the sun hadn't even come up yet – but Featherpaw pushed herself out of the den and out into the crisp, cold air.

Rain must have fallen in the night, because the moonlight shone off of every blade of grass as Nightcloud led Featherpaw across the moorland.

"Does Crowfeather know I'm hunting with you?" Featherpaw asked.

"I told Ashfoot," Nightcloud replied, her body a black shape against the dark sky. It looked like the stars simply disappeared where they touched her. "Ashfoot can tell him."

"You… really don't like him, do you?" Featherpaw puffed, struggling a little to keep up with Nightcloud's longer legs.

Nightcloud didn't reply.

Featherpaw followed the older warrior as she headed for the ThunderClan border. The leaves on the trees here were either red or fallen, creating a soft carpet for their paws. Featherpaw still didn't like the feeling of the sharp-edged branched criss-crossing above her, blocking her view of the lightening sky; but Nightcloud was braving her way through it so Featherpaw figured she ought to, too.

They halted near the stream, and Featherpaw was glad. Her muscles ached from yesterday's training, and she bent down to take a drink.

When she was sated, she lifted her head up and asked, "Why here?"

"You know he took a mate from ThunderClan, right?" Nightcloud asked tersely.

Featherpaw nodded. "Leafpool, ThunderClan's medicine cat," she replied. "They have two kits."

Nightcloud nodded.

"I know the story of how he betrayed the Clan to be with her," Featherpaw meowed. "And I know that you two used to be mates."

"We had a kit, too," Nightcloud told her. "Breezepelt."

Featherpaw flicked an ear. She'd heard about Breezepelt, but none of what she had heard had been good. She figured that bringing it up in front of Nightcloud would be a bad idea – especially since she had heard how much Nightcloud had loved Breezepelt – had done anything to defend him.

"All I ever did was try and help Crowfeather to love him as much as I did," Nightcloud murmured. Her eyes were far away, sad. "But Crowfeather was always distant with his son; awkward, as if he was afraid he might break Breezepelt."

Nightcloud glanced at Featherpaw, "And break him he did."

"I'm sorry…" Featherpaw murmured.

"Don't be," Nightcloud told her dismissively. "You weren't around when all of this happened. I can understand if your opinion of me is… skewed."

Featherpaw tilted her head.

"What is it you really think of me, Featherpaw?" Nightcloud asked. "Be honest – what did all these stories bring me up to be in your mind?"

Featherpaw flattened her ears. Was Nightcloud really asking this? Didn't she know what all the stories said about her, how she was demanding and hurtful and mean? How she and Crowfeather constantly argued, and how she coddled and smothered Breezepelt into a traitor and a killer?

Did she really want Featherpaw to say that it was all her fault?

Nightcloud sighed. "I thought as much," she decided.

She raised her tail, and Featherpaw followed as the older warrior led the way down the stream and towards the lake. The scents of ThunderClan were billowed into Featherpaw's nose on the breeze, but they faded as Nightcloud led her away from the border. The sky was beginning to lighten, the sun peeking up from the horizon and coloring the sky in rose and orange and yellow.

"Crowfeather went on the journey to find Midnight – but I'm sure you knew that," Nightcloud mewed as they padded along. Featherpaw pricked her ears with interest.

"With him went a cat from each of the other Clans – Feathertail of RiverClan, Bramblestar of ThunderClan, and Tawnypelt of ShadowClan," Nightcloud meowed. "Stormfur, Feathertail's sister, and Squirrelflight from ThunderClan accompanied them, too, as friends and littermates who could not abandon one another."

Featherpaw had heard this story before, but Nightcloud's tone betrayed the fact that she was going to give away new information. The fluffy gray tabby listened more closely.

"They found the sun-drown-place together," Nightcloud meowed. "Crowfeather was an apprentice then, and no cat thought he was coming back. The forest was being torn apart all around us, after all, and cats were dying left and right. Some of us even chuckled about Crowfeather being _lucky_ for leaving before things got really bad."

Featherpaw blinked in sympathy. She hadn't been alive before the Great Journey – the lake was what she knew as her home. She had heard from the elders about the old forest, though, and the horrors that wrought it before the four Clans moved here. She'd heard about the poisoned rabbits that the Twolegs fed to WindClan, and how starved, small, and weak her Clan had been.

"Crowfeather fell in love with Feathertail on that journey," Nightcloud told Featherpaw. Her tail-tip was twitching. "It's understandable – I'd only met the she-cat a few times at Gatherings or on border patrols, and she was sweet and kind. A perfect contrast to Crowfeather."

"So… he was always this grumpy?" Featherpaw asked.

Nightcloud nodded. "Unfortunately," she added.

They arrived at the stony lakeshore, and Nightcloud settled on a grassy cline. Featherpaw settled beside her, grateful for the break though her stomach growled with hunger.

"But Feathertail died, didn't she?" Featherpaw asked. "When they stayed with the Tribe?"

Nightcloud nodded. "She did," she replied, "and it was a shame."

"So Crowfeather was heartbroken," Featherpaw realized. Then, she thought about it. She mewed confusedly, "If he loved Feathertail so much, then why would he be with Leafpool, and why… you?"

"You know exactly why he took me as his… _mate…"_ the way Nightcloud said that word made Featherpaw think the older warrior wasn't fond of it in regards to Crowfeather.

Featherpaw felt guilty, though, for asking.

"He fell in love with Leafpool slowly, he told me," Nightcloud went on, her eyes cloudy. "Slowly but surely, like rolling down a hill. Eventually he hit rock bottom and couldn't deny it any longer – he loved her."

Featherpaw shifted on her paws, some part of her feeling rather uncomfortable while another was eager to hear more.

"He said he didn't want to tell her – that he would have watched her from afar rather than risk her position and place in her Clan." Nightcloud's voice was growing bitter. "But he chose to tell her, and fate twisted them together. They abandoned their Clans and the warrior code… and when they came back…"

Featherpaw blinked.

"Nothing happened," Nightcloud whispered. "Nothing."

Nightcloud breathed deeply, as if to calm her nerves. "Crowfeather was… on thin ice," Nightcloud meowed, "but his place in the Clan wasn't threatened. ThunderClan needed Leafpool as their medicine cat – Cinderpelt had just died, after all, and without a medicine cat cats would die.

"When the world became quiet about the incident, brushing it into the dirtplace like it never happened, Crowfeather and I became mates. I had thought that maybe, _maybe_ he might come to love me. To look at me with those same eyes that he had for _her…_ but even as I lay there, bearing his kits… I could tell he was trying. Nothing came of it though, even when two of our kits died and only Breezepelt was left."

Featherpaw let out a sympathetic murmur.

Nightcloud's shoulder fur bristled. "Don't patronize me, Featherpaw!" she insisted. "I am not telling you this for your sympathy!"

Featherpaw shrank under the warrior queen's sudden fierceness.

"I thought I could give Breezepelt the love of both a mother and a father," Nightcloud went on. "But I could never change myself into a father for him. He needed a real father… but Crowfeather was always off in another world; in another place, another time. When he looked at Breezepelt there wasn't fatherly affection, but his usual grump and crass.

"Can you see now why Breezepelt might have ended up how he did?" Nightcloud meowed. "I won't deny that perhaps I coddled him too much… but all he ever wanted was for Crowfeather to smile at him and say, _good job son._ It never happened."

"So… that's why?" Featherpaw asked. "That's why Breezepelt betrayed our Clan?"

Nightcloud nodded.

"It broke my heart to see him do it," Nightcloud murmured. "And I think on some level it broke Crowfeather's too. At least, that's what I like to think."

"I'm sorry…" Featherpaw breathed. "That's… that's a lot of weight to bear."

Nightcloud glanced at Featherpaw out of the corner of her eye. "Yes, it is," she meowed. "It gets even harder to bear when no one thinks of your side of the story. When everyone claims it was all your fault, instead of maybe considering that you aren't the only one at fault."

Featherpaw shrank.

"I'm not attacking you, Featherpaw," Nightcloud meowed. "I'm just saying that no matter how proud and strong you seem, the words of others can still hurt more than their claws."

Featherpaw nodded and mewed, "I guess I can understand that."

Nightcloud stood up, stretching. The sound of the lake softly lapping against the shore filled the air as Nightcloud's words buzzed in Featherpaw's head, a swirl of information making a hive in her mind like bees. She looked at the older warrior in a new light now, admiring the strength at which Nightcloud bore her burdens.

"That's all I'm telling you for today," Nightcloud decided. "It was nice enough for you to listen. Now… you wanted to know how to deal with Crowfeather's attitude?"

Featherpaw nodded. "His grouchiness is driving me crazy," she admitted. "I can't seem to do anything right."

"Heathertail went through the same thing," Nightcloud admitted. "She often came to me, asking about what she might do to counter Crowfeather's behavior – to make his criticisms not sting so much. I can help you, like I helped her."

"Thank you," Featherpaw breathed. "Did… did you tell her all of this, too?"

Nightcloud nodded. The older warrior touched her nose to Featherpaw's forehead.

Gratefully, she murmured, "She believed me, too."


	5. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"_Feathertail," whispered a voice. "Feathertail, you_ awake?"

Feathertail opened her eyes, dreams of water rushing by her paws and fish splashing in the river disappearing and molding themselves into the face of Crowpaw, the smoky black WindClan apprentice before her. His blue eyes glinted in the predawn light.

"I am now," Feathertail whispered, yawning. Her brother Stormfur was pressed against her, his fur warm against hers. "What is it?"

"I was, uh… I couldn't sleep," the apprentice admitted. "Want to go hunting?"

Feathertail took a glance around the makeshift camp. Brambleclaw and Squirrelpaw were sleeping closer to one another – closer than they might like to admit. Tawnypelt was nearby, solitary as any ShadowClan warrior, her mottled tail curled over her nose and her back pressed against the tumbled Twoleg wall. Stormfur slept like a badger – just like their father, Graystripe.

None of them seemed close to waking.

"I'll go," Feathertail mewed.

Crowpaw's eyes seemed to brighten, and Feathertail wondered if he had really intended to go hunting alone. Stubborn as he was, he might have – but at least he had the sense to ask for company first. Feathertail wasn't about to snap in his face.

Feathertail lifted herself up, carefully so as to not disturb Stormfur, and the two headed off into the windblown field.

They didn't speak much – Feathertail was still waking up, and Crowpaw seemed intent on the hunt. The open lands here were more to his liking than the forests and glades that the group had sheltered in before, and Feathertail knew how jumpy rabbits were – one sound, and they were gone like a shooting star.

Crowpaw's ears suddenly shot up, and the black tom raced across the field. Feathertail watched as his lean black shape flitted through the longer grasses. She saw him leap, and the grass rustle, and then nothing. Crowpaw reappeared with a rabbit almost as big as he was in his jaws.

"Good catch!" Feathertail mewed as he approached.

Crowpaw dropped the rabbit and then kicked earth over it. "Thanks," he grumbled.

Despite the tiredness that lagged at Feathertail's limbs, she scented mouse and licked her lips. "My turn," she meowed.

Feathertail dropped into a crouch – one that Graystripe had taught her, when she was young – and slid forward through the grass like a fish in the water. Smoothly she drew upon her prey, and smoothly she killed it.

Crowpaw's tail flicked with praise as Feathertail lifted her head and revealed her catch – a mouse, dangling from her jaws by its tail.

"You should show me how to do that," Crowpaw meowed. "WindClan cats only learn how to catch rabbits."

Feathertail blinked at the apprentice. She was sure that catching rabbits required a bit of stealth, too, but it seemed to be more reliable to be faster than the rabbit you were trying to catch. Rabbits were here, yes, but they weren't the only prey available.

"I just got lucky," Feathertail scoffed. "I'm RiverClan, Crowpaw – we only catch stuff like this during leaf-bare. Why not ask Tawnypelt? Or Brambleclaw?"

Crowpaw spat, his neck fur bristling. "Mudclaw is my mentor – I don't need another cat bossing me around," he growled. He sat back on his haunches. "Brambleclaw is annoying, and Tawnypelt is grumpy… Stormfur just goes along with whatever Brambleclaw says, and Squirrelpaw…"

He paused to curl his lip.

"No one is more annoying than _Squirrelpaw,"_ he growled. "Not even Owlkit."

Feathertail flicked her ear. "And me?" she asked. If he thought so poorly of the others, surely he thought the same of her?

"You're not like them," Crowpaw told her. "At least, I don't think you are. You're kinder, and more understanding. You don't act like you own the world just because you're a warrior… or a _ThunderClan_ cat."

Feathertail wasn't sure if she ought to be flattered, but she felt it billow in her anyway.

"I am half ThunderClan, you know," she reminded him.

"I know," Crowpaw said back. "But you don't act like it."

Feathertail and Crowpaw sat in silence for a moment, as the world turned red with the light of dawn. The stars were beginning to fade, and red light flooded the world with its brightness. Even Crowpaw's dark pelt turned red, his eyes blue like the sky. He staring longingly towards the sunrise, the sadness visible in his eyes.

"You miss home, don't you?" Feathertail asked.

"Don't you?" Crowpaw asked.

"I have Stormfur," Feathertail admitted, scuffling a paw. "It doesn't feel much different – less wet, of course; but at home he and I do everything together."

"Everyone has someone on this journey," Crowpaw growled. "Brambleclaw has Squirrelpaw _and_ Tawnypelt, and you have Stormfur. Me, though? I have no one."

"Was there anyone you would have brought?" Feathertail asked.

Crowpaw looked at her, his eyes dark.

"No one?" Feathertail wondered. "Not a single friend? Kin?"

"My brothers and sister died when they were little," Crowpaw told her. "It's harsh in the moorland, especially for kits. Waking up before dawn? That's something we do all the time – that's when the rabbits think they're the safest.

"As for friends… obviously I'm not the friendliest cat," Crowpaw went on. "Mother thinks that maybe Mudclaw's attitude rubbed off on me during training."

"And your father?" Feathertail asked. No cat really knew who Ashfoot's mate had been – most speculated it had been Deadfoot, the WindClan deputy before Mudclaw. Feathertail herself believed that, but she would have given the mouse she had just caught to know the truth.

"He's gone, too," was all Crowpaw said.

"I'm sorry," Feathertail murmured.

"It's no big deal," Crowpaw told her. "I'm fine – I have a great mother, a great mentor, and I'm nearly a warrior. When we get back, I'll have my ceremony and it'll be like none of this ever happened."

_Wishful thinking,_ Feathertail thought. They had abandoned their Clans, each and every one of them, to follow Brambleclaw's dreams – to follow dreams that they had all had, all of them but Stormfur and Squirrelpaw. Oakheart's words had haunted Feathertail for half a day before Stormfur had finally pried it out of her. Tawnypelt went to Brambleclaw… and Brambleclaw had gone to Squirrelpaw.

How long had Deadfoot's message haunted Crowpaw?

"We should keep hunting," Crowpaw meowed, breaking into Feathertail's thoughts. "The sun's almost up, and they'll be waking up soon."

"Let me show you that crouch, then," Feathertail meowed. Crowpaw's eyes brightened, and Feathertail swished her tail with pride. She'd never had an apprentice before – but Crowpaw wasn't an apprentice; he was nearly a warrior.

Feathertail blinked at Crowpaw as he learned the crouch quickly, quicker than Stormfur had when they were younger and copying their father.

_You have no one… but not anymore,_ she thought. _You'll have me._

* * *

"Featherpaw!"

Featherpaw fidgeted, the dreams fading from her mind.

"Featherpaw, wake up!"

Featherpaw's eyes snapped open. She was huddled in the badger's set that was the apprentice's den, warm and cozy. Outside the air was crisp and cold – two moons into her training, leaf-fall had completely eclipsed greenleaf and taken over hot weather with cold and rain.

Peatpaw's face was in the den, blocking the entrance. Featherpaw sniffed to realize that she was the only cat still inside – everyone else had gone about their duties; even Frostpaw, who had to clean out the elder's den and see to their ticks.

"Do you plan to sleep all day?" Peatpaw asked.

Featherpaw shook her head.

"Come on, then!" Peatpaw sighed. "Furzepelt and Emberfoot are waiting."

Featherpaw flattened her ears. She had forgotten that she was supposed to go hunting with Peatpaw today! She quickly sat up and groomed her chest fur before she headed out of the den. She eyed the fresh-kill pile, finding that it was already lower than it usually was. Cold was bringing the rabbits into their warrens early.

"You can eat later," Peatpaw said, hearing Featherpaw's stomach growl. "We'll catch breakfast for the Clan first."

Featherpaw nodded in agreement and then joined the patrol.

Emberfoot greeted his daughter with a flick of his tail and then the patrol set off, pushing through the gorse barrier and out into the moorland.

Two moons into her training, Featherpaw was more confident than before. She felt as if she knew the great slopes of the moorlands just as well as any warrior, and she could hunt and fight at a decent enough level. Her skills were nothing extraordinary, according to Crowfeather, but she was coming along nicely according to Nightcloud. She had learned many tricks to dealing with Crowfeather's grumpiness, and they were working well.

"Peatpaw," called Furzepelt. They stopped at the top of a slope – near camp, but not close enough that the prey would be frightened off. "Take Featherpaw and look that way." His tail pointed lakeward.

"Sure," Peatpaw called back.

Featherpaw followed the brown-and-white she-cat down the slope and towards the glittering lake. It was dawn now, with light flooding the world and shimmering off of the lakewater. Featherpaw made an effort not to look too closely at the water, or she would be blinded by the flashing ripples.

The rabbit-scent here was faint, so Featherpaw and Peatpaw followed a track down, closer to the lake. Featherpaw opened her jaws as they got closer – rabbits were definitely here, or they had been. With water so plentiful, they couldn't help but risk venturing out.

"So," Peatpaw began, "I hear you and Applepaw are close."

Featherpaw's ears pricked. "What?" she asked.

"You and Applepaw!" Peatpaw meowed. "You two hang out all the time!"

"I hang out with Woollypaw, too," Featherpaw pointed out. "No one brings that up in conversation, though."

Peatpaw rolled her eyes. "Woollypaw is your brother, and a medicine cat," she said back. "Applepaw isn't. "

Featherpaw was well aware of the difference. Woollypaw was fully involved in his training with uncle Kestrelflight now, and he often smelled of herbs and berries. Being accepted by StarClan made Woollypaw's eyes glow with unseen knowledge, though it hurt a little that he was going places that Featherpaw couldn't follow. She was glad he was happy.

As for Applepaw, he and Featherpaw had become fast friends. He was the eldest apprentice, though, and he was preparing for his warrior assessments with Nightcloud more than ever lately. He left the den before dawn and sometimes wasn't back until the sun had slipped into the trees beyond lake like a burning fish. When he and Featherpaw did hang out, they talked, ate, shared tongues, and did things other friends often did together.

"I still don't see what you're getting at," Featherpaw meowed.

"Applepaw _likes you_ – duh!" Peatpaw said, exasperated.

"What? He does not!"

"Of course he does!" Peatpaw insisted. "He told me so himself!"

"He told _you?"_ Featherpaw asked skeptically. Applepaw hardly spoke to Peatpaw.

"Well, he told Frostpaw," Peatpaw said, waving her tail as if that meant nothing, "and Frostpaw told me – but it doesn't change the fact that he's moony for you, Featherpaw."

Featherpaw looked away from her kin and towards the lake. What did it mean, to have a cat moony for you? Images flashed before her like memories that she had seen herself – dark blue eyes, looking up at her with adoration, respect, and care. A tongue, normally rough, softly lapping at her long, silver fur… A dark pelt racing alongside her, feeling as if she were fleeing for her life but feeling safer than she had ever felt before.

_Don't make me save you again…_

"Featherpaw?"

Featherpaw looked up, shaking her head of the images and memories. First a dream that left the taste of salt in her mouth and now memories of some cat she had never met before?

"So?" Peatpaw asked.

"So, what?" Featherpaw wondered. Did Peatpaw notice that Featherpaw had been in another world?

"What do you think of Applepaw?" Peatpaw asked. Quickly, she added, "I won't tell him – don't worry! You can take my tail if I do."

"I…" Featherpaw thought back to the time she spent with Applepaw. From the beginning he acted like nothing more than a friend, and even now he never tried presuming that they were anything more. Still, the way he brought her fresh-kill and the way he slept near her in the den made Featherpaw's pelt grow warm.

Peatpaw was looking at her expectantly.

"I like him," Featherpaw told her. "But… but I don't know if I'm _moony_ for him… at least, not yet…"

Peatpaw nodded. "I thought so," she said. "Don't worry; you'll know soon enough if you're moony or not."

"If I start acting like you do around Boulderfur I don't know if I _want_ to be moony," Featherpaw joked. "Always following him around, asking if he needs anything…" Her whiskers twitched at the thought.

Peatpaw bristled.

"I… I do _not_ act like that!" she insisted.

Peatpaw turned her back on Featherpaw and snapped over her shoulder, "We should be catching fresh-kill, not gossiping about who's moony for whom!"

"I agree!" Featherpaw chuckled back.

Peatpaw turned her head away in a huff and plodded forward, as if she didn't care if Featherpaw was following or not. Featherpaw trotted after her kin, tail swishing to and fro.

Despite what Featherpaw had said, her thoughts were spinning with Applepaw, and it warmed her to her toes. Her stomach fluttered a little, and she couldn't help but think it wouldn't be a bad thing to be just a _little_ moony…


	6. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_Feathertail drew close to Crowpaw, salt-_taste still heavy in her mouth. She had tried to quench it – remove the taste with the water from the pool near their resting space, but it still left a lingering touch of it on her tongue.

Crowpaw was getting himself ready to move – Brambleclaw had said it was time to go, and they had a heading.

He was tearing at the remnants of his fresh-kill, impatient to get moving. Tawnypelt was still waking, while Squirrelpaw was giving herself a quick wash. The sun was rising in the sky, mostly hidden by clouds, casting gloom and the promise of more rain.

Feathertail felt her tongue getting caught in her throat, the salt-taste swelling. How could she tell him that she had had her salt-water sign? Brambleclaw and Tawnypelt had had it before her, and now it left Crowpaw – lonely Crowpaw, who already doubted his place and purpose here in the group.

Would telling him this push him over an edge?

"What is it?"

Feathertail blinked, realizing that she had been standing here for moments longer than she probably should have.

Crowpaw was looking at her, his dark blue eyes burning with less of a fire than he gave the others.

"I…" Feathertail wasn't sure how to begin.

"Hurry up," he said, "we're moving off."

Feathertail looked at the rest of the group, finding that Brambleclaw was gathering them up. Tawnypelt and Stormfur were chatting, while Squirrelpaw was bouncing up and down around Brambleclaw, excited. Brambleclaw looked up and over the apprentice, though, and at Feathertail.

He was waiting for her.

Feathertail lifted her tail. He could go on – they would catch up. Feathertail would rather talk to Crowpaw about this alone rather than involve the group.

Brambleclaw gave her a nod – he was trusting her to break the news gently.

He led the group towards the sunset, and Feathertail was sure to keep Crowpaw where he was.

"What do you want?" Crowpaw asked, his fur bristling. "They're moving on without us!"

"I've had my sign!" Feathertail burst.

Crowpaw's fur flattened, and he sat back on his haunches. He looked down at his paws and murmured, "Oh."

Feathertail leaned close to him. "Are… are you upset?" she asked.

"Upset?" Crowpaw wondered. "Upset? Me?"

Feathertail tilted her head.

"Of course I'm upset, Feathertail – but not with you," Crowpaw told her. "I could never be upset with _you."_

Feathertail breathed, "It's all right, Crowpaw – you'll get your sign…"

"When?" Crowpaw asked. "When we're at our destination? On our way back? Never?"

"You'll get it!"

"How can you be sure?" Crowpaw wondered. "I came on this journey alone, and it was probably a mistake. Back at WindClan some warrior will wake up with Deadfoot in their ear and wonder what they ought to be doing – and _I'm_ here in their place!"

Feathertail butted her head against his shoulder. "You were chosen, Crowpaw! You know that!" she insisted. "Don't be a kit because you haven't had your sign yet."

Crowpaw flattened his ears. "I know," he murmured. "I know… but it's getting hard to believe that StarClan didn't make a mistake…"

"You'll see soon enough," Feathertail promised. "You'll have your sign, and it'll be the best of the signs – because it's the last, the one that will point us in the direction we need to go for the last leg of our journey. When we're on our last bit of hope, you'll be there with your sign and lead us onward."

Crowpaw looked up at her, his eyes unwavering. "You talk like I'll be some glowing hero," he meowed. "Come on, Feathertail, we all know who the hero of this story is."

The smoky black tom looked to the group – getting further and further away. Feathertail knew without asking that his eyes rested on the bulky dark shape of Brambleclaw.

She turned back to him.

"This story isn't over yet, Crowpaw," Feathertail murmured, brushing her muzzle against his. "And as for who the heroes are… we are _all_ the heroes, Crowpaw."

"I'm sorry," Crowpaw murmured, "I don't see it that way."

"You will one day," Feathertail promised. "I'm sure."

_I have faith in you, Crowpaw,_ Feathertail thought as they joined their friends. Crowpaw was still sulking – he had a right to, she supposed – but she couldn't help but look at him fondly. _More than you know._

* * *

"Featherpaw!"

Featherpaw opened her eyes, the taste of salt at the back of her throat. She grimaced – that hadn't happened for nearly a moon. Was it something she ate?

Peatpaw was shivering outside the den. Leaf-fall was transitioning into leaf-bare, and there was a thin layer of snow on the ground. Featherpaw hardly felt the cold, though, thanks to her thick fur. She sat up in her nest.

"What's up?" she asked.

Peatpaw rolled her eyes. "Seriously? Featherpaw, you're as forgetful as a hare," she scoffed. "You're patrolling with Applepaw today – his last patrol as an apprentice! Remember?"

Heat flooded Featherpaw when she recalled that yes, she was patrolling with Applepaw today. He was becoming a warrior at sunhigh, and he'd asked if Featherpaw could come along with he and Nightcloud.

Despite the growing coldness in the air, the past moon had been fantastic – Featherpaw had been to her second Gathering. Her first had been a blur of awkward greetings, and she had come back barely remembering anything about the event at all. Her second, however, had been far more eventful – she had gotten to know some apprentices from the other Clans, was actually able to listen to the leaders talking, and she and Applepaw had walked nearly the entirety of the island… alone.

Featherpaw just couldn't help but be happy about Applepaw, but something was tying her tongue – something was keeping her from revealing just how Applepaw made her feel. Featherpaw wished she could get over it.

"I'll be right out," Featherpaw said.

"You'd better be," Peatpaw breathed, her breath puffing before her. "Crowfeather's really upset that you slept in."

Featherpaw rolled her eyes. This patrol would prove to be interesting – to Featherpaw's knowledge, it was the first time Crowfeather and Nightcloud had done anything together since the Great Battle and their breakup. Ashfoot had been careful about separating them, but it was unavoidable now that Applepaw wanted Featherpaw to patrol with him.

Slipping out of her den, a cold breeze struck Featherpaw right in the thickness of her pelt. The other WindClan cats seemed reluctant to be outside with their shorter coats, but it didn't stop them from sharing tongues in the snowy camp.

Things had changed in the past moon – Sunstrike had given birth to her first litter. Four kits were huddled up in the safety of the WindClan nursery, watched over carefully by Sedgewhisker and Sunstrike. Lilykit, Cloudkit, Petalkit, and Cherrykit were their names – three she-kits and one tom. Featherpaw had only been to see them once or twice, bringing fresh-kill to the queens. They were healthy, soft, and warm, and the normally-nervous Gorsetail was proud as a bird.

Meanwhile Sedgewhisker's kits were well on their way to becoming apprentices themselves – they only had one more moon before they became 'paws and joined Featherpaw and her denmates in the apprentice's den. As big as it was, Featherpaw imagined the den would be very full when leaf-bare was in full swing.

Featherpaw nodded at Heathertail, who was eating with Leaftail and Owlwhisker, as she passed by. There was no time to eat – the fresh-kill pile was too low, and she was already late enough. She would be lucky if Crowfeather left her with her ears.

"There you are," he grouched, narrowing his eyes. The black tom was sitting at the entrance. Nightcloud and Applepaw were already on the other side, and Featherpaw could hear them chatting through the thick gorse tangle.

"Sorry," Featherpaw mewed.

"If you keep sleeping in, you'll make a poor warrior," Crowfeather grunted. "Stop it."

"I'm sorry!" Featherpaw said again, exasperated.

Crowfeather huffed before pushing himself up and leading the way out of camp. Featherpaw followed, seething a little. How could she control her sleep? She hadn't done anything the night before that kept her awake any longer than she usually was. She had gotten back from training at a reasonable hour and had gone to sleep at a reasonable hour.

"Can we get going?" Nightcloud asked. She narrowed her amber eyes at Crowfeather. "I want this done as soon as possible."

"Sure!" Applepaw said. He was bouncing with excitement as he touched noses with Featherpaw. "I'm going to be a warrior today – isn't that awesome?"

"It's amazing!" Featherpaw replied, smiling. She was proud of Applepaw – his skills were well-rounded and he would make a great, loyal warrior. WindClan would be proud of him.

Crowfeather curled his lip. "If he keeps bouncing like a kit I might see if he can sleep in the nursery instead," he growled.

"Oh get that burr out of your behind," Nightcloud growled. Her neck fur bristled. "I'd say you were just as excited to become a warrior, but when do you get excited over anything?"

Crowfeather threw her a nasty look, and Nightcloud rebuffed it with one equally as nasty.

"When did you get your warrior name?" Featherpaw asked.

Crowfeather growled, "I got it on the Great Journey, in the mountains."

The mountains! Featherpaw had heard tales of the mountains, and the cats who lived there. The Tribe of Rushing Water had helped the Clans through the Great Journey, leading them to the lake. The Tribe had required Clan help, too, but tales of their culture and ways made Featherpaw's sense of adventure soar. She hoped she would go there one day.

"But why Crow_feather?"_ Applepaw wondered. "Did you catch a hawk or something and get its feathers caught in your teeth?"

Crowfeather's entire being bristled, and he pushed ahead. He looked back only to say, "We're supposed to be patrolling, remember?"

Featherpaw glanced at Nightcloud, but the black she-cat's neck fur was bristling. Both Featherpaw and Applepaw had learned the hard way that when Nightcloud bristled she was upset, and she wasn't like Crowfeather – if she was upset she _would_ claw you; not just threaten to.

"His name is in memory of a cat who died," was all Nightcloud offered.

"Who?" Applepaw asked, cautious.

"Feathertail," Nightcloud replied.

_Feathertail!_ Featherpaw thought. Did she mean _the_ Feathertail, the one that Crowfeather had fallen in love with on the Great Journey? The one who died defending the Tribe from Sharptooth?

Now it made a little more sense – she could picture Crowfeather, standing there in a deep dark cave, wavering watery moonlight shining on him from behind. Tallstar stood before him, performing the ceremony even though he was too weak to stand.

_I'd like to be called Crowfeather,_ Crowfeather said. _In… In memory of the cat who didn't make it back with us…_

_Then you shall be called Crowfeather,_ Tallstar said, nodding. He didn't wholly understand Crowfeather's decision, but he didn't stop him as Crowfeather turned towards the watery light a warrior.

_Don't make me save you again…_

"Featherpaw?"

It was Applepaw.

Featherpaw shook her head, her paws tingling. That had felt real – too real, as if she had been standing there, watching her mentor's warrior ceremony. And that voice – again, there it was! That voice, so soft and gentle… it was one she had heard before, many times.

"Are you OK?" Applepaw asked. "They're going on without us, you know, and I don't want to be late for my ceremony!"

Featherpaw blinked herself out of her reverie. She nodded to Applepaw and then said, "Sorry; I was just thinking."

Applepaw didn't ask what she was thinking about, but he butted her affectionately on the shoulder and then led the way. Nightcloud was ahead of them, but Crowfeather was further ahead.

Featherpaw tasted salt as she followed.

* * *

"From this day forth, Applepaw, you shall be known as Applefrost," Onestar announced. "StarClan honors your loyalty and determination and we welcome you as a full warrior of WindClan."

The new warrior licked Onestar's shoulder, and Applefrost turned around a warrior to a Clan clamoring with excitement.

WindClan congratulated him. Swallowtail was ecstatic that her only kit was now a warrior, and she didn't hesitate to shower him with licks. Leaftail, Applefrost's father, was just as proud, his chest puffed out and his eyes glowing as he looked at his son.

"You've done well," Leaftail said.

"Thanks," Applefrost meowed.

Even Nightcloud gave Applefrost a hearty congratulations – their relationship was one of friendship, and she butted Applefrost on the shoulder.

"Now you're not my problem anymore!" she joked.

"I'm everyone's problem now!" Applefrost chuckled back. "But really, Nightcloud – thank you. For everything."

He touched his nose to hers.

Featherpaw trembled a little as Applefrost approached. She had cheered his name as loud as her Clanmates – louder, according to a teasing Peatpaw – but she hadn't the nerve to go up there and congratulate him herself.

"You'll be a warrior too, soon," Applefrost promised her.

"I know," Featherpaw murmured back.

He touched his nose to hers and then said, "I'll save you the nest next to mine, OK? So it'll be just like old times."

Featherpaw purred, emotion catching in her throat. _Now!_ She thought. _Now would be the best time! Tell him how you feel, you hare-brain! You're as moony as a rabbit!_

But she tasted salt, and her words hitched on her tongue.

Applefrost didn't seem to notice. He had moved away, embracing the cheers and goodwill of his Clanmates. Featherpaw stared after him.

The apprentice's den was going to seem a lot colder now, she knew.


	7. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_Rain pattered down onto the stones,_ noisy and wet. Feathertail watched the rocks go from dry to soaked in a matter of seconds, her thick pelt tightening around her as it, too, became sodden and waterlogged.

She grimaced at the feeling. She hadn't had fish in so long the water wasn't shedding itself from her pelt like it used to. Even Stormfur looked uncomfortable.

"We'll rest here," Brambleclaw decided.

There was a large outcropping of rock here, forming a makeshift cave. It was still cold, but at least the rain was off their backs. Brambleclaw and Stormfur went off to hunt, leaving Squirrelpaw to lap at Tawnypelt's shoulder until the tortoiseshell went to sleep. Feathertail watched Squirrelpaw's eyes droop and decided she ought to keep watch.

Crowpaw slipped up beside her as Squirrelpaw rested her head against Tawnypelt. Feathertail longed to sleep, too, but she was too hungry, too distracted. The mountains were quiet and bare, sparse of life – and yet Feathertail was hearing whispers, whispers that got louder the closer and closer they got to… somewhere.

She felt Crowpaw press his pelt against hers. She purred. She knew that Stormfur was upset about his sister being so close to the grumpy WindClan apprentice, but Feathertail pad no mind – after all, Stormfur was infatuated with Squirrelpaw.

Feathertail could feel Crowpaw's warmth spreading into her.

"Brambleclaw's gotten us lost again," Crowpaw grumbled.

"Oh hush," Feathertail scoffed. "If you could lead us in the right direction, why aren't you leading?"

Crowpaw threw her a look, and Feathertail twitched water off of her whiskers.

"I'm starting to wish we hadn't come this way though," Crowpaw told her. "Clearly we're lost!"

_Not according to the voices,_ Feathertail thought. She kept the words to herself. The voices were telling her to keep going – asking for her help. They chattered about her pelt and made faint remarks that she could hardly hear.

"We'll find a way," Feathertail assured him.

"Sooner or later we're going to end up somewhere we can't come back from," Crowpaw pointed out. "We don't need any close calls; not with a message this important."

Feathertail nodded in agreement.

"So…" she wondered, "what do you think will happen, once we get back? Once we tell the Clans Midnight's message?"

"You mean if they don't laugh at us first?"

Feathertail rolled her eyes.

"I imagine we'll leave," Crowpaw told her, softly. "Pack ourselves up and find a new home."

The thought saddened Feathertail – the thought of leaving the rivers, the reeds, the willow trees… the things that made RiverClan what it was for generations. But she imagined Twolegs stomping through the reeds – she had seen them before, with their great big feet – breaking the willow trees and stopping up the rivers. Her Clan would starve, and so would all the others.

"Do you think we'll travel together?" Feathertail asked.

"I hope so," Crowpaw replied, rubbing his cheek against her shoulder. "There have always been four Clans – how can there be four when we split up?"

Feathertail nodded in agreement. Despite the gloomy setting, Crowpaw was beginning to sound like he was changing – at least, around her he did. Around the others he was still his grumpy self. Feathertail had tried urging him to change that, but he refused to let his guard down for anyone but Feathertail.

It seemed so unfair that she was the only one who saw this side of him.

"I want to be with you, Feathertail," Crowpaw whispered. Feathertail strained her ears to hear him. "You make me so happy, and I can't bear the thought of being without you… you're the first cat to ever see me for _me,_ for who I really am. I don't want to lose you."

Feathertail purred and twined her tail with his. She gave his ear a reassuring lick. "Don't worry," she murmured. "We'll find a way."

Crowpaw leaned into her, and Feathertail felt him purr. She rested her head on his and sighed. The voices whispered in her ears, but she ignored them. Whatever fate they were talking about, it couldn't possibly draw her away from Crowpaw…

* * *

"I'm here, Featherpaw – talk," Heathertail invited.

Featherpaw situated herself on a cold, windblown rock. Her heart was stirring in her chest, and her mind was buzzing with questions. Her mouth tasted faintly of salt.

The dreams were getting stranger – faster-paced, and more fervent. Featherpaw had woken up three times since Applefrost's warrior ceremony a moon ago with the feeling of something nagging at the back of her mind. The thought that, for a moment, the hills were unfamiliar – a place where she shouldn't be. Crowfeather's barbs weren't stinging as much as they ought to – was her fur thicker, or did it have to do with her dreams?

She was utterly confused.

But that was not why she was talking to her mother.

"Well?" Heathertail asked. "You didn't ask me to come out here in the dead of leaf-bare for nothing, Featherpaw."

Snow crunched on the ground, falling from a tree branch. They were in the forest on the ThunderClan border, where it was silent. It seemed like their voices were bouncing off of the trees, and Featherpaw sighed.

"I want to be back in time for the ceremony," Heathertail pressed. "Hurry."

Featherpaw's denmates were becoming warriors today. Kits of the Clan leader – it was a big deal. The whole camp was buzzing with excitement, and Featherpaw herself couldn't help but feel a little pang of jealousy.

Featherpaw shook her head and focused on her mother's pale blue eyes.

"I… I think I'm in love with Applefrost," Featherpaw meowed.

Heathertail blinked. She was not surprised.

"I'm… I'm scared to tell him," Featherpaw went on, tasting salt in her mouth. "I'm worried something might go wrong, or that he doesn't really care about me. I'm just… scared."

Heathertail blinked again, calmly.

"I don't want to rush too quickly into something I'm not ready for," Featherpaw went on. "I don't want it to feel like I was never my own independent cat. I don't know what it feels like to really be in love, Mother; I just don't want to get it wrong and end up regretting it for the rest of my life."

"It's normal to worry about these things," Heathertail said, softly. "Oh Featherpaw; you're a little young to be in love, don't you think?"

"But I really do care about him, Mother!" Featherpaw insisted. "He's strong and kind and sweet, and he's just… right."

"Then what's there to worry about?"

"I don't want to wake up one day and realize that I made a horrible mistake," Featherpaw said. "I don't want to think that maybe some other cat would be better, or that I'm missing out on something other cats get to experience. I don't want to regret it."

"You don't want to end up like Nightcloud," Heathertail realized.

Featherpaw nodded.

Heathertail let out a comforting murmur as she pressed her pelt against her daughter's.

"Oh Featherpaw," she sighed, "love is a complicated mess. It's not like hunting, where you either catch the prey or you don't. It's not normally a game for cats as young as you."

Heathertail leaned in and licked Featherpaw between the ears. "Can you keep a secret, sweet daughter of mine?" she asked.

Featherpaw nodded.

"I was in love once," Heathertail meowed.

"With Father?" Featherpaw asked. The entire Clan was aware that Heathertail and Emberfoot were no longer mates in an official sense – according to nearly everyone, the breakup had happened soon after Featherpaw and Woollypaw had been born. Some part of her hoped that it wasn't true, but it was clear that Heathertail and Emberfoot were not affectionate towards one another outside of what was dutiful and necessary.

Heathertail shook her head. "Emberfoot and I may not have loved each other, but we trusted each other and were good friends. We decided that having kits was a good idea; for the good of the Clan. Oh, we love you both so very much – but we don't have feelings for one another outside of friendship. No, Featherpaw, I don't think I could truly love another cat again."

"Then who did you love?" Featherpaw asked.

"I was in love with Lionblaze of ThunderClan," Heathertail meowed. Her eyes darkened.

Featherpaw recoiled in shock. Heathertail, one of WindClan's most loyal warriors, in love with a _ThunderClan_ cat?

"We were apprentices," Heathertail said. "Young and stupid. We found the tunnels beneath our territory, you see, and I invited Lionblaze to come down there with me and play games. We never shared skills or secrets, and things had been going just fine…

"Until Lionblaze pulled away from me. I had fallen for him, but I had made the mistake of thinking he had done the same for me," Heathertail explained. "When he told me he didn't want to see me again it felt like my world was crumbling out from beneath my paws – like I was falling, and I had no control over where I landed. It was horrible."

Featherpaw leaned against her mother sympathetically.

"I had gotten over it soon, though," Heathertail told her, her voice tight. "Lionblaze… Lionblaze, as you know, is the best fighter around the lake. There was a time where he… where all I could see was a dark, evil shadow hanging around him. I'd seen how he fought in battle – he was vicious! I dreamed of him tearing me apart night after night…"

"Mother…" Featherpaw breathed. She didn't want to hear any more, not if it was so painful for Heathertail!

"But I learned that we were not meant to be," Heathertail surmised. "The dreams stopped, the feelings faded… and even after that – even when I tried to love – I found myself too damaged to make the effort.

"When Lionblaze found out that I was expecting he was happy for me, as a friend," Heathertail told Featherpaw. "I looked him in the eye, and found that I felt nothing for him anymore – not fear, not love, not anger… I was free of him, and though I knew I would never love anyone the way I loved him, I did not let him rule my life."

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't be," Heathertail meowed. "And don't be afraid to love Applefrost, Featherpaw."

"But what if he… hurts me?" Featherpaw asked. "Like Lionblaze hurt you?"

"If he breaks your heart," Heathertail said, "you move on. If he breaks your heart, then he doesn't appreciate you like he should. If he breaks your heart don't let those negative feelings cloud you – you'll end up miserable. You'll end up a husk of your former self. You'll end up like -"

"Like Crowfeather," Featherpaw finished.

Heathertail blinked. "Yes, I suppose so," she meowed. "Crowfeather has let his emotions consume him; he's been through a lot, but he never had the strength to cope with what it did to him. Not in a healthy way. He lashes out at others; he argues, he fights… all because he lost those that meant the most to him."

"It's not fair," Featherpaw decided. "How he treats others like they're nothing and gets away with it. How he drove off Breezepelt and hurt Nightcloud… I…"

"That's an issue that Crowfeather should have handled," Heathertail explained. "But no one came up to him and told him that his behavior was wrong. Breezepelt was annoying as an apprentice, yes; but he was only seeking attention he could never have. It was Crowfeather's neglect that turned him violent."

Featherpaw's ears drooped.

"Applefrost isn't Crowfeather," Heathertail told her reassuringly. "He's not mean, arrogant, or selfish – every cat knows that. If you love him, Featherpaw, tell him."

"But how?" Featherpaw asked.

"You'll know when the time comes," Heathertail explained. "But don't leave it for too long, or it might end up being too late."


	8. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"_Peatfur, Frostflight, Rabbitleap!"_

Featherpaw called out her kin's new names with joy in her heart. They were warriors at last, and even though snow lay thickly on the ground and hunger gnawed at her belly, Featherpaw was happy for them.

"_Peatfur! Frostflight! Rabbitleap!"_

Whitetail and Onestar looked upon their second litter with pride and joy. Though it wasn't clear to most, Whitetail's age was catching up with her – this second litter would most likely be her last.

"Featherpaw!"

Applefrost approached while Featherpaw was busy congratulating her kin. Peatfur and Rabbitleap were buzzing with excitement about their new duties, while Frostflight seemed irritated at the crowd.

"Guess what?" Applefrost asked.

"What?" Featherpaw replied, glancing over at him. There was a look of happiness on his face.

"Swallowtail is moving into the nursery again!" Applefrost said gleefully. "I'm going to be a big brother!"

Featherpaw butted her head against his shoulder. "That's amazing news, Applefrost!" she cheered. Applefrost had had siblings – two – but they had died before he was able to get to know them. Kits suffered harshly in the leaner moons, and WindClan kits were always in danger of losing their lives. The deaths didn't happen too often in the warmer seasons, and Featherpaw knew he longed for a sibling like Featherpaw had Woollypaw.

All at once Heathertail's speech flooded over Featherpaw, and she took a step back from Applefrost, feeling embarrassed and acutely conscious of Peatfur's whiskers twitching in amusement.

"Good news all around, it seems," Whitetail commented, looking proudly at her kits. She nuzzled Frostflight affectionately, purring, "I'm so glad you three are warriors…"

"Finally!" commented Whiskernose, who had been Rabbitleap's mentor. "I never thought they would learn!"

"We weren't _that_ bad!" Peatfur chided.

Whiskernose only twitched his whiskers.

"Featherpaw," called Crowfeather. "Come on – dinner won't catch itself, you know!"

Featherpaw bristled at the tone of her mentor's voice. The black tom was standing at the edge of the crowd, his dark blue eyes boring into her. Heathertail was sitting nearby, flicking her tail with irritation. Had they quarreled? Featherpaw hadn't thought that she and Heathertail's talk had lasted that long.

"You'd better go," Applefrost murmured. "Want me to come with you?"

"He'll say no," Featherpaw assured him.

Applefrost blinked sympathetically at her, but Featherpaw didn't totally need his sympathy – she had Nightcloud's lessons beneath her fur, and she knew how to handle Crowfeather's jeering.

Featherpaw padded over to Crowfeather.

"I'm ready," she meowed. "Let's go."

Crowfeather grunted and led the way.

* * *

The world was cold and quiet as Crowfeather and Featherpaw wandered into the forest. Featherpaw could faintly pick up her scent from her meeting with Heathertail far earlier into the day. The sun was falling in the sky, casting long shadows from the trees. The ThunderClan border loomed ahead, it's scent strong as ever.

Here Crowfeather halted, ears pricked for prey.

"There," he said," flicking his tail.

A bird was pecking at a fallen twig some length away.

"Go get it," Crowfeather told her.

Featherpaw nodded. Her bird-stalking technique was not the best, but she dropped into the proper crouch and shifted herself forward.

She was conscious of the fact that with the world so clear and white the bird would only need to look her way to spot her. Featherpaw kept her paws as silent as possible, moving slowly so that each step sounded like the natural movement of snow.

A branch fell just behind the bird, and Featherpaw cursed as the sound of it sent the bird flapping up and away. Cold powder clouded around the broken, fallen tree-limb, shrouding her would-be catch as it escaped.

"Rabbit-droppings!" Featherpaw swore.

"Just bad luck," Crowfeather grunted, padding up to her side.

"I'm shocked you aren't blaming me," Featherpaw grumbled.

Crowfeather flicked his ear.

"Your bird-stalking needs some work," Crowfeather told her. "We'll head to the training clearing and work on that."

"My crouch was fine!" Featherpaw scoffed. "The bird wasn't even aware of my presence!"

"Your balance was off," Crowfeather growled back.

Featherpaw flattened her ears.

Crowfeather flicked his tail.

"Your crouch would be better if you weren't so distracted," Crowfeather told her pointedly. "You spend too much time hanging around Applefrost and wasting other warriors' time, and not enough time training."

"I do not!" Featherpaw retorted, her neck fur fluffing.

Crowfeather rolled his eyes. "Explain to me how you thought it was a good idea to take Heathertail away from her duties this morning? What reason did you have for wasting her time?"

"I'm her _daughter,"_ Featherpaw snarled back. "I wasn't wasting her time – I was _talking_ to her. Privately. About _private_ things. Heathertail didn't have a problem talking to me so long as we were back in time for the ceremony – which we were! So why are you getting your tail in a twist?"

"You're close to your warrior ceremony, and you're wasting your time with trivial things instead of _training,"_ Crowfeather growled, lashing his tail.

"Love isn't a trivial thing!" Featherpaw snapped back. "Not to me! It's important – and it's _my_ business, not yours! You're not my father! _You_ may think that love is something that can just be given and thrown away like a piece of fresh-kill but _I_ don't!"

Crowfeather's neck fur was bristling. Featherpaw hadn't meant to go that far, but something inside of her was sick of his attitude – his belittling, his arrogance, his petty behavior… she was sick of it!

"You're too young to know what love is!" Crowfeather insisted.

"I might not fully understand what love is," Featherpaw meowed, "but at least I know how to _show_ my affection in a healthy way that doesn't ruin the relationship!"

Crowfeather flattened his ears. "I don't know where you think you're going with this, Featherpaw, but this argument is over," he growled.

"No, it's not!" Featherpaw snapped.

Crowfeather narrowed his eyes.

"You don't know _anything_ about love, Crowfeather," Featherpaw snapped. "It's a miracle that _any_ cat loved you – that any cat _could_ love you, after all the things you've done!"

"You don't know what you're talking about," Crowfeather growled. "You weren't there."

But Featherpaw _had_ been there – sitting next to a sweeter, younger Crowfeather. Journeying with him through plains and forests to a place where the sun was swallowed by the largest expanse of water any cat had ever seen. She'd been with him up steep cliffs and through the stony, cold mountains. She'd been with him until the very end, when the darkness closed in on her and she faded away into nothing…

Featherpaw shook her head, blown off of her paws by the nostalgia. As soon as it came it was gone, a rush of feelings from deep inside, deeper than Featherpaw realized she could go.

"You were luckier than most cats," Featherpaw growled. "You found love _twice._ But the third time you just couldn't bear to try and love again, to try and love someone who loved you back with all their heart."

"Stop it," Crowfeather growled.

"You lost Feathertail, and you pushed away Leafpool cruelly," Featherpaw went on, narrowing her eyes as Crowfeather. "And when it came time to slink back to your Clan, you needed someone to latch onto – someone to help you reclaim your place as a loyal warrior. So you chose Nightcloud, because she loved you."

"Stop it," Crowfeather repeated, his tail bristling.

"But you _used_ her!" Featherpaw snapped. "You _used_ her, and you didn't even _try_ to treat her with any sort of friendliness!"

Crowfeather's lip was twitching.

"And you ignored your son!" Featherpaw went on, raging. "You pushed him away, made him violent, made him _leave!_ You didn't even _try_ to like him, did you? _Did you?"_

Crowfeather was silent.

"And now the whole Clan thinks that Nightcloud was the problem – not you," Featherpaw snarled. "All because you _have_ to be right. Because you couldn't take the blame; you couldn't take something actually being _your_ _fault_ because even though you _know_ it was your fault, you just couldn't _bear_ the thought of others hating you!

"_You're nothing but a petty, spoiled little kit that will hurt anyone to get what they want!"_

Silence. Snow fell off of a branch and onto the ground, softly. A bird chirped somewhere over the border.

Then:

"Are you done?"

Featherpaw was on her toes; her spine bent and fur bristling. When Crowfeather spoke, her spine unbent, and Featherpaw fell back onto her paws, trembling with emotion.

"You're just like her, you know," Crowfeather murmured.

Featherpaw looked up at her mentor. His eyes weren't far away, but fixated on her, blue and intense.

"She would always tell me when I was wrong," Crowfeather went on, quietly. "When I did something I shouldn't have. When I let my emotions get the better of me. She would always tell me to calm down, and I would. I just felt so _compelled_ to listen to her… because she treated me like an equal in a group that treated me like I was worthless and useless and annoying.

"And then she died; right in front of me. Feathertail died saving my life, all because I was being a mouse-brain.

"I laid awake that entire journey, wondering if it was all my fault. If I could have done something different… I imagined a dozen different ways it all could have happened, but I can't go back and change it now. Feathertail is dead, and I loved her.

"And yet you remind me of her," Crowfeather mumbled. "So, so much… the name doesn't help, you know."

Featherpaw blinked at him.

Crowfeather shook his head.

"I'm done here," he decided.

"You can't run away from your problems," Featherpaw told him.

"I'm not running away," Crowfeather growled. "I'm putting it behind me. It's done, and I've faced it too many times now to let it destroy me again."

"You faced it, but you didn't learn from it," Featherpaw accused.

Crowfeather lashed his tail. He turned away from her and growled, "There's nothing left for me to learn."

Featherpaw watched her mentor leave, his shadow long and lonesome.

And she sighed.


	9. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

_A moon passed, and the world _began to melt. Snow soaked the ground as the sunlight grew strong and hot, wildflowers grew on the moors, and the smell of heather was in the air. Leaves grew from the thin branches of the trees on the WindClan-ThunderClan border, and prey returned at full force.

Leaf-bare was swept away by the newleaf breeze, and the world was warm again.

Featherpaw, her coat still leaf-bare heavy, pushed herself out of the apprentice's den to a morning warmer than the last. Behind her the soft snores of the Clan's newest apprentices – Sedgewhisker's kits Russetpaw, Dapplepaw, and Poppypaw – were soft. Featherpaw had spent a half-moon as the only apprentice in WindClan, and a half-moon had been enough.

But she was nearly a warrior – she could feel it in her bones. She was as tall as any she-cat warrior, and just as strong. She was fast, capable, and smart – and though she and Crowfeather did not see eye-to-eye anymore, he had promised that she would receive her name soon.

Featherpaw was not the only cat excited about completing their training – Woollypaw had reported that Kestrelflight was beginning to drop hints, saying little things to praise Woollypaw's skills. Featherpaw's brother was fluffed with excitement, as any half-moon might bring him to full medicine cat status.

Whitetail was up, grooming herself. Featherpaw knew she would be looking for Russetpaw soon – the day was too good to waste lounging in camp. Poppypaw was confined to camp by her mentor Leaftail, for sneaking a thorn into Webfoot's bedding. Dapplepaw was due for the sunhigh patrol with Gorsetail, Rabbitleap, and Boulderfur.

Ashfoot lay stretched out in the clearing, sharing tongues with her son Crowfeather. The white streaks in Ashfoot's muzzle and pelt were clear signs of her age – the last leaf-bare had been hard on her older bones, and there were many rumors of her imminent retiring. The Clan would be glad to see her go as their deputy, but they were confident in the ability of her replacement.

Featherpaw pondered for a moment who it might be – Whitetail? She was Onestar's mate, and a loyal warrior. She was an obvious choice. Nightcloud? No, the Clan had too much of a collective ambivalence to her, she would never be chosen and if she was, she would have no respect.

Crowfeather?

Featherpaw wrinkled her nose at the idea. Crowfeather as deputy? When it was still clear – at least to Featherpaw – that he was immature and petty?

But he had no real chance, either – he had mated with a medicine cat and broken the warrior code. If he made deputy, it would be nothing but a confirmation that WindClan didn't care what he did.

Her thoughts stopped as Crowfeather turned to look at her. With a flick of his tail, Featherpaw was summoned.

"Your assessments begin today," Crowfeather told her. "Ashfoot is coming with us to see how you do."

Featherpaw blinked at him. His tone was blank, unemotional – different from how it had been before their argument. Before he was grouchy; now he was… nothing. But the Clan didn't know about their fight, and no cat seemed to notice the change in how he behaved around his apprentice.

"If it all goes well, you'll be a warrior by sundown," Ashfoot meowed.

"Really?" Featherpaw replied. Her heart started beating faster – a warrior, _today?_

Ashfoot nodded.

"Meet me outside camp at sunhigh," Crowfeather grunted. "We'll start your assessment immediately."

Featherpaw turned away, glowing with excitement.

"Someone's beaming!"

Featherpaw blinked. Nightcloud was looking at her with amusement in her eyes as she carefully drew a damp paw over her ear.

"Is it the warmth in the breeze putting a spring in your step, Featherpaw?" Nightcloud asked.

Featherpaw shook her head as she approached the older warrior. "I'm going to be a warrior today," she announced.

Nightcloud's eyes brightened. "Well, you certainly deserve it!" the black she-cat purred. "Good job, sweetheart."

"Well, I have to pass my assessments first," Featherpaw reminded her.

Nightcloud chuckled. "I know you'll do just fine," she said. "Crowfeather might be a grump, but he can't deny that you're a good warrior."

She glanced at her former mate, eyes narrowed. "Though… he's been broodier than normal this past moon," she commented. Leering at Featherpaw, she asked, "What did you do?"

Featherpaw blinked. So some cat _had_ noticed.

There was no point in lying – Nightcloud was smarter than most cats gave her credit for, and Featherpaw couldn't lie to the she-cat who helped her like a second mentor.

"We had a fight," Featherpaw meowed. She went on to quietly describe the altercation in the woods a moon ago, when snow covered the ground and leafless trees swayed in a cold breeze.

Nightcloud flicked her ear at the end of it. "So he left like nothing happened?" she mewed.

Featherpaw nodded. "He didn't even apologize for himself," she said. "He just walked away."

Nightcloud flicked her tail. "You sure got under his skin, by the looks of it, though," the warrior commented. "It's a start, but I still doubt that he thinks he's done anything wrong."

The black she-cat rested her nose between Featherpaw's ears. "I didn't ask you to fight my battles for me, sweetheart," she said softly. "But thank you for trying. There's no getting through to a tom who has stones between his ears."

Nightcloud stretched and then meowed, "Good luck today, Featherpaw. I look forward to your ceremony tonight."

Featherpaw's eyes followed Nightcloud as she padded across camp. The nursery walls quivered, and Sunstrike poked her mottled head out. The two exchanged some words, and Nightcloud, at a quick pace, trotted to the medicine cat's den.

Tilting her head, Featherpaw wondered what was going on. Kestrelflight and Woollypaw appeared, pushing out of the medicine cat's den. The two medicine cats hurried to the nursery – when Feathertail mewed a greeting to Woollypaw, her brother didn't reply.

Featherpaw padded over to the nursery and poked her head inside. Instantly the heat and warmth of the den washed over her – the smell of milk, kits, and…

Blood!

Swallowtail was kitting!

"Woollypaw, fetch cobwebs!" Kestrelflight commanded.

Featherpaw had to pull herself out of the den quickly, otherwise Woollypaw would have collided with her. She watched her brother dash towards the medicine cat's den and disappear into the dark, cool hole.

_Kitting?_ Featherpaw thought. _But she's not due for a half-moon!_

"Something wrong?"

Featherpaw turned her head and found herself face-to-face with Applefrost. Swallowtail was his mother, and when she had gone back into the nursery he had been excited to be an older brother. But what if something bad happened to the kits? To Swallowtail?

"I heard you were going to be a warrior tonight," Applefrost meowed, his eyes unblinking, "but then I saw Woollypaw and Kestrelflight heading to the nursery. What's happening?"

"Swallowtail's kitting," Featherpaw said.

Applefrost's ears pricked.

"Is she OK?" he asked, worry in his tone.

Featherpaw shrugged.

"Excuse me," Woollypaw meowed.

Featherpaw moved out of the way as Woollypaw, paw caked with cobwebs, pushed past her and into the den with a flick of his fluffy tail.

He came out a moment later, his brown-and-white fur fluffed with worry. He looked up at Applefrost.

"She wants Leaftail," Woollypaw meowed. "Where is he?"

"On patrol near the RiverClan border," Applefrost replied. "He should be back soon."

Woollypaw shook his head. "We need to go get him," he decided. "Swallowtail needs him."

"Is… Is my mother OK?" Applefrost asked.

Woollypaw glanced at Featherpaw, and then looked back at Applefrost. "She should be fine – Kestrelflight knows what he's doing – but she wants to see Leaftail and we think that it will help smooth the process. Can you take me to him?"

Applefrost nodded.

The tabby warrior blinked at Featherpaw. "Good luck on your assessment," he said, licking her ear.

Woollypaw brushed against her, purring. "Yeah; good luck," he said.

"Good luck to you, too," Featherpaw meowed. "I know you'll make sure Swallowtail's OK."

* * *

By the time Featherpaw returned from her assessment, dusty and paw-sore, the sun was sinking into the sky. She dragged a plump rabbit by the spine, Crowfeather just behind her with a mouse and squirrel that bore her claw marks. A bird was in Ashfoot's mouth, the last of the prey Featherpaw had caught on her hunting assessment with a leap that made the even Crowfeather's eyes change shape.

Proud of herself though she was, Featherpaw looked worriedly at the nursery. Applefrost had camped out there, Sunstrike's kits clambering all over him like a mountain. Sunstrike was sitting with him, tail curled over her paws.

The entire camp seemed to be on edge. Quiet reigned, even when Featherpaw dropped her rabbit in front of Applefrost. Crowfeather and Ashfoot continued discussing Featherpaw's results, even after they placed her prey on the growing fresh-kill pile.

"Is she OK?" Featherpaw asked.

Applefrost shrugged.

Featherpaw settled in beside him, ready to wait.

"How do you think you did?" Applefrost asked.

Featherpaw shook her head and then leaned against him. "That doesn't matter," she mewed. "Not right now."

Applefrost opened his mouth, and then shut it. He wrapped his tail around Featherpaw and sighed.

It wasn't long before something happened. Leaftail padded out of the nursery with Kestrelflight at his side. Upon seeing them, Applefrost lifted his head and shot to his paws, looking hopefully at his father.

Leaftail's eyes sparkled, not with grief, but with happiness.

"It was tough on her," he announced, "but she has two kits."

"Two?" Applefrost breathed.

Leaftail nodded. "Two toms, Mudkit and Mallowkit," he said.

"She'll be fine with a little rest," Kestrelflight reported. "The kits are small, but they'll grow."

"That's wonderful news," Onestar meowed.

The Clan turned to him, standing in the middle of the clearing. Ashfoot was standing beside him, with Crowfeather on the other side.

"With every day, WindClan grows," Onestar went on, his warriors gathering around him. Featherpaw followed Applefrost as they joined the crowd. "New kits mean new apprentices, and new apprentices mean new warriors.

"Featherpaw, come forward."

Featherpaw pricked her ears. Her fur was a mess from laying with Applefrost, and she hadn't had a chance to groom the dust and dirt from her assessment out. But Applefrost nudged her forward, his eyes glowing with encouragement and emotion.

"Go," he said.

Featherpaw took the shaky steps forward, to stand before Onestar. Heathertail gave her a lick on the ear. Emberfoot nudged her affectionately. Woollypaw poked his head out of the nursery to watch; but Kestrelflight forced his apprentice out, taking his place. Woollypaw trotted to the front of the crowd as Featherpaw stood before Onestar, moonlight shining down on her pelt.

"Crowfeather and Ashfoot have decided that you've passed your assessment," Onestar meowed. "It is time to take your place as a warrior of WindClan."

Featherpaw's heart soared, and she hadn't even received her new name yet.

"I, Onestar, leader of WindClan, ask our warrior ancestors to look down upon this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn.

"Featherpaw, do you promise to protect and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

"I do," Featherpaw replied, unshakingly.

"Then I name you Featherfall," Onestar meowed. "StarClan honors your loyalty and spirit, and we welcome you as a full warrior of WindClan."

Featherfall licked her leader's shoulder, listening to the cheers of her Clanmates as they called her name:

"_Featherfall! Featherfall! Featherfall!"_

Featherfall was nearly knocked over by Woollypaw, purring with delight. Applefrost touched noses with her, expressing his happiness and affection through the glowing in his eyes. Heathertail and Emberfoot stood together for the first time in moon to congratulate Featherfall as her parents. Nightcloud offered her commendations, congratulating Featherfall on making it this far. The whole Clan clustered around her, their voices buzzing like bees in her head – all except one.

But when Featherfall looked for Crowfeather, the black tom was gone. She saw the black tip of his tail disappear into the warrior's den, and Featherfall flattened her ears.

In the end, he would ignore her.


	10. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"_Crowpaw," Feathertail whispered. She could feel_ the fear in the air, smell it, taste it. Everyone's fear but her own clouded the air, rank like the smell of blood or crow-food. Up here, in the crags of the Tribe's cave, looking down on the grisly scene below, she could feel her heart beating calmly while the vibrations of the others seemed to be rattling the rock itself.

She met Stormfur's eyes. Her brother, someone she loved deeply – she remembered splashing in the stream with him, tussling, play-fighting. She remembered the two of them, pelts pressed together in fear, as they watched cats being slaughtered for being half-Clan. She remembered training, growing, learning… becoming warriors.

Her entire life with her brother flashed before her eyes.

_It's you!_ The voices shouted.

_Save them!_

_Save our cats!_

_You are the silver cat! Save them!_

"I can hear the voices clearly now," she murmured. "This is for me to do."

It all happened so quickly – Feathertail gave a powerful leap, and wind rushed past her ears. The sound of claws grating against stone split the air as she dug her talons into one of the big stones that jutted down from the roof of the cave.

The world shook as the stone gave way.

And Feathertail was falling.

She heard a scream – was it her's? A Tribe cat's? Sharptooth?

There was a roar of anguished pain as the rock crumbled beneath Feathertail's paws. She felt her body crash to the ground, slamming against the stones. They _hurt…_ they hurt like the churning currents of water that pushed and pulled and pummeled a cat into doing what they wanted. A warrior's blow was nothing compared to this.

All Feathertail could see was darkness. All her feeling seemed to be concentrated in her mind – her toes, her tail, her legs; they were numb.

"Feathertail?"

Stars danced before her eyes.

"Feathertail…?"

A mist clouded her vision, and Feathertail could swear she could see a shape…

"Feathertail, are you OK?"

She was still breathing – she could feel it. With each breath the shape moved closer, closer… and though Feathertail didn't recognize the ears, or the tail, she somehow knew who it was…

"She'll be fine," the voice cracked, like a heart shattering. "She's got to be. She… she has a prophecy to fulfill."

The shape got closer. A silver pelt with tabby stripes. Eyes blue like the river-water in greenleaf. A scent so familiar…

"Silverstream?"

Feathertail wasn't the one speaking, she knew – but she knew Stormfur was right. This was Silverstream – lovely, lovely Silverstream. Their mother, the love of Graystripe's life. The she-cat who had died bringing them into the world.

"Oh, Feathertail!" she cried, her eyes swimming with grief and stars shimmering in her pelt.

She was so sharp and clear that Feathertail couldn't doubt that Stormfur could see her, in the waking world. Feathertail knew now what was happening:

_I'm dying!_

She gasped, and suddenly her eyes were open. She could see the cave, the stones, the blood… Crowpaw was pressed against her, his warmth trying so hard to pass on to her… and Stormfur, oh Stormfur – he stood grief-stricken before her, his eyes wide.

"You'll have to go home without me, brother," Feathertail managed. She could taste blood – it welled up in her mouth and spilled onto the stones. But there were things she _had_ to say, before she left… "Save the Clan!"

Crowpaw moved, and Feathertail could look at him. She tried pouring every ounce of feeling she had into the look, knowing that she would never have the time to say just how much she loved him; just how much she wished things didn't have to end this way… She wanted to fly over the territories, push away the boundaries that would inevitably keep them apart, so that they could be together forever in love and light.

"Think you have nine lives, do you?" she coughed. "I saved you once… don't make me save you again."

"Feathertail… Feathertail, no!" Crowpaw rasped, his words slurred by sorrow. Feathertail could see the lump in this throat – how he was gagging on it, choking the words… "Don't leave me."

"I won't," Feathertail whispered. The light was becoming blinding now; Silverstream's nose was in her pelt. All the feeling was fading from her now and Feathertail's last words to them all were, "I'll always be with you, I promise."

_I promise…_

_I promise…_

_I…_

_Promise…_

"You promise what?"

Featherfall's eyes snapped open.

Applefrost was standing up, beside her, his eyes curious.

"You promise what, Featherfall?"

Featherfall's breathing regulated, and she blinked in the warm newleaf dawn. A light breeze tugged at her pelt – last night was the third night WindClan warriors slept beneath the light of Silverpelt. Warm air hung in the camp as newleaf reached its peak. The faint sound of barking could be heard across the moor.

"What… what are you talking about?" Featherfall wondered. She was clinging to her dream, but snippets were falling away. She remembered the sensation of falling, and brilliant white light, and then nothing.

"Nothing," Applefrost purred. "You were just talking in your sleep."

"Do I… do that often?" Featherfall asked.

Applefrost flicked his ear. "Once in a while," he replied, "just like always."

They shared tongues as the sun rose, gossiping quietly. Most of the cats were still sleeping, and they didn't want to be rude. They talked about how Peatfur was already expecting kits – she was big enough to move into the nursery, and last night had been her first night there. Boulderfur, her mate, was extremely proud – strutting about like a bird.

They talked about how Mudkit and Mallowkit were doing, little bundles of moon-and-a-half-old kits who were terrorizing Swallowtail. Applefrost loved them, and between him and Leaftail, Swallowtail was well-looked-after.

"Do you think Woollypaw is back yet?" Featherfall asked.

Applefrost shrugged. "Don't know," he meowed.

"I hope I can catch him before he goes to sleep," Featherfall mewed. "I heard rumors that Kestrelflight was going to give him his full name."

"I hope so," Applefrost stated. "He deserves it."

Their conversation paused as Crowfeather pushed himself up and out of his makeshift nest. The black tom stalked by, making no gesture or move to acknowledge that Featherfall and Applefrost were awake, or even there. Crowfeather picked at last night's remnants of the fresh-kill pile, probably sorting the good from the bad.

"He still ignoring you?" Applefrost wondered.

Featherfall nodded. "Ever since I became a warrior," she replied.

"That's rude," Applefrost grumbled. "And wrong."

"He didn't even congratulate me," Featherfall pointed out. "Even on patrols, he doesn't speak to me outside of what's necessary."

Applefrost shook his head. "A cat shouldn't get away with acting like that. Have you told Onestar?" he asked.

Featherfall shrugged. "What's the use? Every cat accepts Crowfeather as he is and doesn't try telling him that being so coarse and mean isn't good for the Clan. What good would me pointing that out do?"

"Probably the most good," Applefrost pointed out. "Some cat needs to say something."

"He's a senior warrior," Featherfall meowed, "and I'm still green as newleaf grass. Onestar wouldn't listen to me."

Applefrost sighed, saying, "If you're sure."

"Anyway, what's on your agenda?" Featherfall asked. She wanted to push the subject away from Crowfeather for once – she had a feeling that her former mentor had been clouding up too much of her life.

"Whitetail wants me to come with her and Russetpaw hunting," Applefrost meowed. "After that, I'm free until the dusk patrol. You?"

"Sunhigh patrol, and hunting after," Featherfall reported.

"Do you, maybe… want to do something after I'm done with the dusk patrol?" Applefrost asked. "Just you and me?"

Featherfall blinked at him. His eyes were hopeful and confident.

"Sure," she replied.

"Featherfall!"

The tabby looked up to see that Kestrelflight and Woollypaw had returned. Woollypaw was nearly as big as Kestrelflight now, and twice as fluffy. The tom's pelt extended in funny directions, and he looked exhausted from his Moonpool trip though his eyes sparkled like stars.

Featherfall got up and nodded good-bye to Applefrost. She trotted up to her brother and touched noses with him.

"How was it?" she asked.

"Great!" Woollypaw replied. "Guess what?"

Featherfall tilted her head.

Woollypaw glanced at Kestrelflight, and the older tom nodded. He looked just as exhausted, but pride gleamed on his face. Featherfall had a feeling she knew what was coming.

"I'm Woollypelt now!" Woollypelt exclaimed.

"That's fantastic!" Featherfall meowed, overjoyed. She pressed her muzzle against her brother's and purred. "You got your name, and you deserved it so much!"

"Thanks, Featherfall," Woollypelt meowed.

The two pulled away from one another. Kestrelflight headed for his den, and Woollypelt eyed his mentor.

"It won't be long now until I'm helping you with your kits," Woollypelt mewed.

"Kits?" Featherfall exclaimed. "I'm not going to have kits – not y-yet anyway!"

"Oh come on, sister," Woollypelt chuckled. "Every cat in the Clan knows that you and Applefrost are moony for one another. It won't be long."

Featherfall stood in amazement as Woollypelt said good-bye and padded off to the den. Far away, Featherfall could hear the sounds of the Clan waking up, moving, talking, shifting.

She slowly looked back. Applefrost was chatting with Russetpaw, while Whitetail was finishing her morning grooming. He paused for a moment to look at Featherfall, and he flashed her a lovely, caring smile.

And Featherfall felt like she was falling.


	11. Chapter 9

**This story is actually almost done!**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

"_Lovely night, isn't it?" Applefrost offered._

"Y-Yes, it is," Featherfall replied.

They were sitting on a hill just before the lakeshore, looking down at the land as it fell away from them in a sweeping curve. The lake was clear and smooth, and reflected the sky above perfectly. Moonlight bathed the land in its white glow, and the stars twinkled in Silverpelt.

A dog barked somewhere.

"I'm glad you're here," Applefrost meowed. "I'm glad you said yes."

Featherfall couldn't bring herself to look at him. She knew, deep inside, what he was going to say tonight. And she knew, deep inside, what she wanted to say in response – but the words weren't coming up now, even if she'd practiced them while hunting. Something was holding them back, drawing them close and keeping them inside.

"Featherfall, you and I have been friends for a long time, and…" Applefrost trailed off.

"And…?"

"And I was wondering if there's anything more than that in our future," Applefrost said quickly, almost too quickly.

Featherfall blinked.

"I… I care about you, Featherfall," Applefrost confessed. "I care about you _so much…_ you're not just my best friend; you mean way more to me than that. I…"

_Oh, just say it…_

"I love you, Featherfall."

The words hit Featherfall as if she had hit the ground, bouncing against a tumble of sharp rocks on the way. The lump in her throat grew.

"I understand if you want to stay friends," Applefrost told her. "I… I just _had_ to get it out there. I wanted to let you know how I felt, before it boiled up and exploded."

"I…"

Applefrost looked at her expectantly.

"Oh Applefrost," Featherfall meowed. "I… I love you, too."

"You do?" Applefrost breathed.

"I just…"

"What? What?" Applefrost asked, earnest.

"It all seems so fast, you know?" Featherfall told him. "I just became a warrior not too long ago, and I'm still not quite used to it. It feels like I'd be rushing things if I were to call you my mate – I don't want to end up in the nursery as soon as Peatfur did…"

Applefrost blinked.

"I understand," he said. "I get where you're coming from, Featherfall, and I understand."

"You do?"

Applefrost nodded.

He reached over with his paw and gently touched hers with this. Featherfall turned to face him, and their eyes met. She was almost knocked off of her paws by the force and power of the love in his gaze.

"I'll wait for you," he told her. A promise. "I'll wait – and the instant you're ready, you tell me. I won't force you into anything you don't want."

Featherfall blinked at him, in awe.

"I'll follow your lead, Featherfall," Applefrost promised. "Just say the word."


	12. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"_Featherfall – dawn patrol."_

Featherfall nodded. She sat, clustered, with the other warriors as Ashfoot began giving the day's directions. Yet she couldn't help but fidget.

Her dreams had been clouded with blood and fear, with the sensation of falling and whispers of cats she didn't know. Barking, too. Lots of barking.

_No,_ Featherfall thought, realizing that she could actually hear it though she wasn't asleep. _It's those blasted dogs again._

The Twolegs at the Horseplace had been letting them loose to chase their sheep and roam the moors for the past moon. Three days ago Russetpaw nearly lost his hind leg to one of them as it gave chase, but Whitetail, Weaselfur, and Owlwhisker managed to chase it off. Dog-scent permeated the territory, and their non-stop barking seemed to be scaring the rabbits.

"Whitetail," Ashfoot continued, flicking her ear at the barking, "take the apprentices and hunt along the ThunderClan border. There has to be prey that those monsters haven't scared off yet!"

"I'll go with her," Nightcloud offered.

"And me," Emberfoot agreed. "We'll make a great task out of it."

Ashfoot nodded with approval.

"Who's on the dawn patrol with me?" Featherfall asked.

"Crowfeather, Frostflight, and Leaftail," Ashfoot said.

Featherfall nodded in acceptance, but yet again the thought of doing anything with Crowfeather made her tail twitch. She felt Applefrost touch her tail with his, and the twitching stopped. The gesture was friendly, but it was no secret now that Featherfall and Applefrost were just a few simple words away from being mates.

She was grateful for his patience.

"Be careful," Ashfoot added, "those dogs have been sighted as far as the RiverClan border. Keep your wits about you – no apprentices on this patrol."

Featherfall and the other members nodded. Those dogs were small, but fast – with sharp teeth and dangerous paws. They were clearly runners.

Dimly, Featherfall was aware of the barking getting closer.

She paid attention to Ashfoot, though, as the deputy announced the rest of the day's work. Featherfall was told that later she would go hunting with Heathertail and Sedgewhisker. Featherfall mentally planned her day, and she wondered if she might have time to chat with Woollypelt or Peatfur between her duties – it felt like she hadn't spoken with them in ages.

Ashfoot was going on, "Applefrost, you'll -"

Featherfall's ears twitched. The dogs' barking was louder than before, close and getting closer. She turned her head to the hills, along with each warrior of her Clan, and watched the gorse tremble ferociously.

There was a quiet moment – just a heartbeat – before through the gorse exploded the dogs.

A screech went up from the camp, who it was, Featherfall didn't know, as the dogs writhed and lashed in the camp, snapping their long snouts at the cats within.

Ashfoot was on her paws in an instant. "Get the queens and elders out of here!" she screeched, before leaping at a black-and-white dog.

Featherfall was buffeted by a dog as it swept past her, heading towards the nursery. The force of the dog's passing spun stars in her eyes, and she was pushed to the ground.

"Featherfall!"

Applefrost was helping her up.

"What's going on?" Featherfall gasped. "How… how did they?"

"I don't know," Applefrost meowed, grunting as he helped her to her paws. "But we have to evacuate the Clan before they hurt someone!"

A screech ripped through the air as he spoke, and Featherfall looked in horror to see one of the dogs – bigger, leaner, and meaner – chasing after little Poppypaw. It made to grab her tail, but Frostflight and Sedgewhisker leaped onto the beast, and it disappeared briefly beneath their claws.

"Get out!" shouted Onestar, bursting through the camp. "Get everyone out, _now!"_

"Sedgewhisker, Leaftail, Heathertail, Weaselfur – we need these dogs distracted!" shouted Ashfoot. "Keep them away from the queens and elders, and try and get them out of the camp!"

Featherfall sent a silent prayer to StarClan as Heathertail whipped past, veering towards the smaller dog. She nipped at its heels, and it yipped and whirled to strike – but Leaftail boxed the beast in the face.

"Peatfur!" Applefrost cried.

Featherfall's heart quickened. Peatfur, with her big, heavy belly, was trying to scrabble up the hill to the gorse barrier. Crowfeather was helping her, pushing her and sharply encouraging her to keep going – but the big brute, having shaken Sedgewhisker and Frostflight into a pile, was heading straight for them.

_Peatfur, no!_

Crowfeather hissed viciously, lashing out at the dog with his claws. The blow connected, and the dog spun away, blood splashing from its nose.

_Think you have nine lives, do you?_

Crowfeather turned back to help Peatfur, but Featherfall could see as the massive dog turned its head back to him, haunches bristling with anger. It raised its head, jaws gaping with massive teeth.

_Crowfeather, no!_

Featherfall ignored the shrieking voice in her mind. She leaped, crossing the camp in a bound. She slid beneath the dog's legs and spun, lashing out with her claws.

Her claws grazed harmlessly across the loose skin of the dog's chest, but it was enough to get its attention off of Crowfeather and Peatfur.

The dog let out a guttural howl and rushed at Featherfall, jaws gaping.

"Featherfall!"

It was Crowfeather.

Featherfall turned briefly to look at him – time seemed to stop as she said, "Don't make me save you again…"

Suddenly, things began to click into place.

She felt the jaws of the dog close around her throat, and everything went black.

It felt like she was falling.


	13. Chapter 11

**Epilogue coming soon!**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

_Think you have nine lives, do you?_

_Don't make me save you again._

Crowfeather's eyes were locked on her body. The camp was a storm around him, but it didn't seem to matter – none of it seemed to touch him. His shoulders sagged impossibly, and he looked at her blank, blank blue eyes as blood pooled beneath his paws.

He'd seen those eyes before.

"Feathertail…" he mumbled, stumbling over his words.

"You were…" he breathed, "you were _Feathertail…"_

Oh, StarClan.

_She was Feathertail._

How had he not noticed? How could he have been so blind? He had spent nearly every day with this cat, and _he hadn't noticed it was Feathertail._

Crowfeather staggered on his paws. Beyond him, the dogs were being driven out of the camp. Applefrost was attacking the massive dog with the fury of a thousand warriors – Crowfeather wondered if he had seen what Featherfall had done.

He didn't dare look away.

Crowfeather blinked, and the world stopped all around him.

Feathertail stood before him, shimmering in all her glory. Starlight shimmered off of her pelt, glittered in her eyes. She looked at him with love, with sadness, with…

Disappointment.

Crowfeather looked up at her. Through her, he could see that the world had truly stopped – time was halted, held still by her presence.

"Feathertail, I…" he began, choked with too many emotions to name.

She raised her tail for his silence, and Crowfeather obeyed.

"Oh Crowfeather," she murmured, her voice sweet. "Oh, my beloved Crowfeather… I am sorry for the deception. For what I had planned to do, I could not just visit you in a dream – no, I needed another way and… and though they warned me of the risks, I didn't think that I would have to worry."

"Is… is she…?" Crowfeather whispered.

Feathertail shook her head. "No – StarClan will not take her today," she replied. "She has her own life to live."

Crowfeather breathed a sigh of relief.

Then, he panicked, "What… what about _you?"_

Feathertail blinked. "I was not hurt by what Featherfall did," she told him. "I will not disappear today, Crowfeather."

Relief washed over Crowfeather again.

Then, he asked, "Why, though? You mentioned a plan…"

Feathertail blinked at him. The disappointment was there, again.

"I came back to help you, Crowfeather," she told him. "To teach you the wrongs of your actions."

_The argument,_ Crowfeather thought. _The one that I walked away from. The one that made me so angry… so upset… _

"Featherfall tried to tell you," Feathertail meowed. _"I_ tried to tell you – Crowfeather, your actions have hurt others, and you've done nothing to make amends for it."

Crowfeather was silent.

"Nightcloud, Breezepelt, Leafpool…" Feathertail mewed, "these cats were all hurt by your actions. You used Nightcloud, and ignored and neglected her. You refused to try loving Breezepelt like your own, and refused to attempt to be a father to him – you pushed him into the Dark Forest's paws. You ignored Leafpool when she tried telling you about the kits, and when the truth came out you publically destroyed her heart."

Crowfeather blinked at her.

Feathertail narrowed her eyes. "Your actions have caused so much damage, and yet all this time you have refused to acknowledge that it was _you_ that was the cause. You shifted the blame on others – on Nightcloud, on Leafpool… you disappoint me, Crowfeather.

"You aren't the cat I fell in love with."

Crowfeather felt her words sting him, pierce his hide sharper than any tooth or claw he had ever felt before. Featherfall had argued as much with him, but Crowfeather hadn't listened. Now, though, with Feathertail floating before him and her words in his ears, he couldn't help but let the words sink into him.

"You behaved like a spoiled little kit," Feathertail growled. "When you were an apprentice, when I knew you on the journey we took, you were a crude cat with a warrior's spirit. You had the potential to be a great leader, a great warrior, and a great mate. But you threw it all away by letting your emotions take charge of your actions, not your mind.

"You've hurt these cats, Crowfeather, and you were too scared to face the punishment for yourself so you dumped all of the blame onto them," Feathertail told him. "You've stunted yourself, becoming a bratty warrior who hurts anyone to get what he wants, and then wants more because what he has isn't enough… and when he doesn't get it, he mopes and ignores and jibes…"

"Feathertail," Crowfeather mumbled. "You… you don't really think that, do you?"

Feathertail narrowed her eyes. "Crowfeather," she said, "I do think this – and I am not the only one."

Crowfeather staggered back onto his haunches.

"Oh StarClan," he whispered. "I've been so _blind…"_

"Cats can change, Crowfeather," Feathertail told him. "You can always change."

"But I…" Crowfeather mumbled. "I don't know how."

"It all starts with one step," Feathertail meowed. "Just one step, one step that starts a great journey of character. Admit your faults, and apologize. Make things right again. The world will not hate you forever."

Crowfeather blinked, taking it all in with a deep breath.

Feathertail pressed her muzzle against his. Her scent wreathed around him, and Crowfeather wanted to take it in to keep and never forget it again.

"I believe in you, Crowfeather," she breathed. "I always have."

"Are… are you leaving me?" Crowfeather asked.

Feathertail pulled away and nodded. "My time here is done, and I have done what I came here to do," she meowed.

Crowfeather glanced at Featherfall. She seemed to glow beneath Feathertail.

"She will not remember any of this, nor should she," Feathertail meowed, getting Crowfeather's attention. "Understand? She needs to live out her own life now."

Crowfeather nodded.

"Good bye, Crowfeather," Feathertail meowed. "I hope you've learned something."

Crowfeather promised her, "I have."

Feathertail's eyes sparkled. "I believe you," she decided.

And she was gone.


	14. Epilogue

**I've decided to upload this now just to finish off the story - one less thing on my mind. But thank you all for enjoying! I think my next short story might be a Hawk/Ivy fic that doesn't end how you might think... though if anyone follows me on Tumblr they might already know about it.**

**Whether I do a sequel to this story, I have no idea. Honestly, I like where it leaves off but I might come back to it later.**

**Anyway, thank you for enjoying my story - and if you liked it, consider checking out _Tinystar's Beginning: Into the Wild_. It's an AU story where Scourge and Firestar switch places... but they're not the only ones! I'm starting to get into where this story differs from the canon narrative and I'm hoping it gets a little attention so I can keep up my motivation to write it.**

**Thank you all for reading, and have a good day! - Twilight**

* * *

**Epilogue**

_Crowfeather watched Applefrost place a piece_ of fresh-kill at Featherfall's paws. The she-cat was alive, thanks to Feathertail, and seemed to remember nothing but leaping before Crowfeather and Peatfur. The Clan believed that the dog had knocked her unconscious before moving on to easier prey.

The two touched noses affectionately, and Applefrost went on to help with the repairs. The dogs had been driven out of camp soon after Feathertail visited Crowfeather, and steps were being taken to ensure that they didn't find it so easy to come back – if they even did. Dogs were simple creatures, and the wounds given to them were not so kind.

They had injured more than Featherfall, though – Poppypaw was severely hurt, and Ashfoot's leg had been crushed. She was now an elder, but it didn't stop her from giving orders to the other cats from the remains of the elder's den. Gorsetail had had part of his tail bitten off, and was recuperating in the medicine cat's den with Woollypelt and Kestrelflight watching over him.

Whitetail was deputy of WindClan now, and no cat disputed the choice. The white she-cat stood in the middle of camp, barking orders at the Clan. She even had Onestar working, patching the walls with the apprentices. Crowfeather looked at the she-cat with admiration – he had hoped for the position himself, but that was before Feathertail's words were in his head. He wouldn't have been able to accept if he'd been asked now.

He didn't deserve it.

"What did you want?"

Crowfeather looked behind him to find that Nightcloud had appeared. A twig was caught in her fur, and she was as scratched and beaten as the other WindClan warriors. She looked at him with flat amber eyes, eyes that once shown with hope and love.

_I did this to you,_ he thought. _I took away your ability to love…_

"Well?" she demanded. "I've got half a barrier to reconstruct. Are you going to waste my time with silence?"

"No," Crowfeather told her.

"Then say what you mean to say so I can get back to work."

Crowfeather took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry."

Nightcloud blinked. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" she asked.

"I'm sorry," Crowfeather repeated. "I'm sorry for everything I ever did to you, Nightcloud. Everything. I see now that… that I was wrong. I was wrong to use you. I was wrong to ignore you. I was wrong not to _try._ I was wrong, and I'm sorry."

Nightcloud blinked again. The words seemed to surprise her, and she looked taken aback.

"Are you sure the dogs didn't hurt you?" Nightcloud asked. "The Crowfeather I know would never say he was sorry – not seriously."

"I'm fine, Nightcloud, and I really am sorry," Crowfeather promised. "And… and to show you just how sorry I am, how much I wish I could take it all back and do it all over again… I'm leaving."

"Leaving? Are you mad?"

"Not forever," Crowfeather told her. "Just as long as it takes to find him."

"Him who?"

"Breezepelt."

Nightcloud was silent.

"I'm going to find our son, Nightcloud," Crowfeather told her. "And I'm going to bring him home."

The joy in Nightcloud's eyes was something Crowfeather hadn't seen for a long, long time. He could tell that she didn't completely trust him…

But it was a start.


End file.
